With This Ring

By

Retta Michaels

Preface

Dear Reader,

In a lot of my writing, I've never felt the need to write a preface. With this story, I want you to know what to expect. For me, the story is a mixture of a whole lot of truth and a whole lot of fiction.

For me to explain it, I must sit and tell you what my conceptual plans were for the novel

IN LIFE, we are not given a set list of directions and plans how to complete it. Some people don't like the unknown, so they don't take any foreign steps into different territories. With others, they know no structure. I am one whose structure would be called modernistic to the point what you see is what holds it up.

Rather than having a nameless character out there who could sue the fuck out of me for even inferring they're a member of the mafia, I chose to go personal and use my own name. It's a lot less messy and a lot more friendly for my lawyer.

I am not a member of the mafia. I will say I do know a lot of the family members from several cities, but I am not a member myself.

I will state at one time I was with a man named Gino who headed a crime family. He's since passed and this story has been released with permission and editing done by his son who is still a dear friend of mine. (Thanks Dave.)

The names I've used in the story besides my own are ficticious. The names have been changed to protect everyone. Where names weren't important, I have not used them.

I have given enough references to who the person is so if you can read between the lines, you can see who they are. With that said, I will not say more about the characters.

The story is made up. It is totally ficticious. None of the incidents happened, and nothing of the sort ever occurred. If you choose to believe it did happen, and if you choose to believe it's true, then that's on you. I will state now if I receive an email asking me if such and such part is true, I'll be polite and refer you to the Preface and leave it at that.

The reason I'm writing this preface is because I want people to know when I write, I write fiction with an air of the style of writing used by the National Enquirer or the Sun. There's an air of truth in there someplace, but it's actually fiction. If you choose to believe it's truth, then do so...I've got about twenty acres of swamp land I'll sell you and someplace on that land is a complimentary Iphone. If you can find it, it's yours.

With that said, I'll now state the characters of this story will probably be used time and time again. I think I've found a niche in this style of writing. I'll tell you now, it's done in the style of Mack Bolan “The Executioner”, James Bond, or Scarface.

“With This Ring” is the first book of the saga. It shows how someone can go from leading a normal life wanting to lead a normal life to being thrown into a complex cast of characters which require him to be more and more of what he doesn't want to be.

I hope you enjoy the story.

Chapter One:

My flight arrived in Savannah, then I walked through the airport to get to my rental car. My shoulder carry on was all the luggage I had with me besides my laptop.

Once I got the rental car, I flipped open my laptop and hooked it into the powerport of the car. I followed the directions and in a little over an hour, I was nearing my destination, Bluffton, South Carolina. Gateway to Hilton Head.

Once in Bluffton, the Maps download led me right to the entrance of the real estate office. I went in and asked for Mr. Collins.

He came, “Hi, you must be Rhette Michaels.”

“Yeah” I said. Me having a moment of shyness meeting someone who was so attractive.

“Well, let's go take a look at it. Would you like to ride with me?”

“Sure, let me get my laptop and then I'll be right with you.”

“You won't need that.”

“Yes. Yeah I will. I want to type in all the notes I can on this place. I figure if I fly all the way down here, I sure want to have all the notes I can on it.”

He smiled and said, “I think the number of photos I sent you are the most I've sent anyone, personal or otherwise.”

I smiled, “Well I appreciate it. I'm sure not many people ask you for photos of the tops of closets.”

He chuckled and said, “Your interest is amazing.”

“Well, the price of that house is amazing. I figure if I'm going to spend that much, I better know all I can on it.”

“What have you done for a background check on it, so I know which lie to tell you?” he chuckled.

“I know it all. My long distance bill probably hit new highs.”

“Well, you've done quite a bit of research, but what you probably don't know is the house has probably only been really lived in for ten days.”

“I heard that. He said he came down here. They loved it. And then he went home and his wife asked him for a divorce. He said if he had his choice, he'd keep this place and give up his job, but houses don't pay allimony and his job does.”

“Well, you're partly correct. He probably didn't tell you his wife made a scandal down here and then ran leaving his reputation in shards.”

“No, he didn't say that.”

“Not that it's any of my business, but one doesn't go to the Country Club and raise her leg that high in the air and pull up panty hose. Especially when one is that intoxicated and wearing nothing underneath her dress.”

“Oh, sounds like everyone got a free show.”

“Yes, and the women didn't like it and the old men were too far into their attempting to gaze they were upset when they realized she was attempting to show more.”

“Oh, well thank God I don't have a wife.”

He smiled at me and said, “I've ran a background check on you. You've not ever had a wife.”

“No, nor will I ever unless I go around the bend to complete insanity.”

He chuckled and said, “Your secrets are safe with me.”

“Nothing's a secret. I'm gay and I make no pretense about it. Currently, I'm single, but that doesn't mean I'm going to show anyone what I've got either.”

“Well, I highly doubt if you'll get into the Country Club anyway.”

“That's fine. It's not like I left a bag of clubs at home. I'm quite afraid if I went out on a golf course, the only reason would be to fly a kite.”

He laughed and said, “Well, that might be refreshing.”

“So, what you're telling me is the price of the house doesn't include the entrance into the Country Club.”

“Yes, that's it, I'm afraid.”

“I'm afraid my fee I'll pay went down three hundred thousand. Any other bright and cheery news you want to pass along? That just nixed your fee by eighteen thousand.” I said smiling.

“No, I'm afraid it'll cost me too much.”

“I'll tell you upfront, I've already got the man to agree to a deal of what I'm going to offer. The deal I have says he can come down and share a room for a weekend every Summer for the next five years.”

“That's nice. What are you going to offer.”

“Three hundred thousand less than what we agreed upon. Once I see the house, I'll decide if it's even worth that.”

“Oh.”

We pulled into the entrance of the guarded community and went past the guard house without showing id.

“Does everyone get to fly right past the guard shack like that?”

“No.”

“Then how does the guy know I'm not a crazed murderer who has you hostage. I thought the security was top notch.”

“It is.”

“It is one hundred thousand less than my last offer.”

He looked at me alarmed and I said, “If I have to put in a security system, then it'll cost that.”

He tersely said, “It has security.”

“Does it have exterior zone alarms? Infra red? I mean there's a lot of vegetation out there and someone could get up close to the house.”

“I'm not sure about that.”

“I'll have to be sure about that. We'll test the system and if I can walk up to the house without setting anything off, I'll have to really think this over. What can I have in this community? Doberman?”

“No sir, you can have domestic house breeds, but nothing outdoors.”

“Oh, well thank God for that because if anyone gets in, I'll have to have something that will chew someone a new asshole.”

He grimaced.

“I'm not trying to be a dick, but you want three eight for the house. That's a lot no matter how you slice it, dice it, spin it, or chop it.”

He smiled and said, “You do have some colorful sayings.”

“You do have a nice smile if you'd turn it on.”

He looked at me shocked and I said, “Sir, I made my money the old fashioned way. I earned it. You do too, but I made mine by smiling.”

His ill look nearly brought about a chuckle.

We turned into the entrance and my breath caught. “Oh my God! It's even more breathtaking than the pictures.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Do the gates work?”

“They're for looks. The community doesn't allow the gates of any of the mansions to be closed.”

“Let's see. You can fly right on past the guard shack and my security system probably won't allow me to set up a zone unless the gates are shut, but you're going to assure me I'm going to be safe.”

“Yes sir, no one's had any problems yet.”

“I'll tell you, my luck says this house will probably be the first one hit if I buy it.”

“I would hope not.”

“Me neither, but an open gate is an open invitation to come on in and take what they want.”

“Let's look at the house, shall we?”

“Sure, that's what I came here for.”

We drove up to the front circle and parked.

“Jeez Louise, this is huge.”

“Yes sir, it is. I'm supposing it's entirely too large for one person.”

“No, I've got one at home bigger and I live in it by myself.”

He looked at me with a tense look and I said, “Mr Collins, if you don't mind me saying, let me talk myself out of it. I might not fit into the Country Club scene, but my money sure as hell could give anyone in this burg a run for their's.”

“You can afford it?”

“Let's see...I just sold out to my ex for fifty million. He's going to give me nearly sixty after interest is paid and when I get done paying for this, I'll have enough to buy every antique I'll need.”

“The place comes furnished sir.”

“Good. That just saved me some money.”

We went up the steps and I said, “Can I see the key?”

“Why?”

“My last place I bought, I found I couldn't turn the key in the door. It took a locksmith and about two days of jimmying it in order to understand the thing. If I'm going to buy a house this expensive, it's going to have to open up for me on the first try.”

“You bought your last place for less.”

“Oh hell yeah. I got that place for three quarters of a million.”

“Well, it probably wasn't as nice sir.”

“Let's see. I'll show you the website and you can decide. How much land did you say comes with this?”

“Thirty one acres.”

“And it goes over to that fence line and over to that one?”

“Yes.”

“And the swamp is right out the back door, so you're selling me swamp land.”

He grimaced and I said, “Well, unless I can go out my back door in hip waders, I'm not going to have a back yard bar-b-que am I?”

“It's meant for the beauty of it sir.”

“Let's see. Jack the ripper comes up to the front door and I've got to go out the back in a mighty big hurry in my fluffy slippers and house coat carrying Gypsy running like hell and you're telling me there's beauty in that there swamp! I think not. I'm going to be hoping like hell there's not a croc laying out waiting on Jack to slit my throat.”

“Maybe this isn't the house for you.”

“Maybe you're the wrong person to sell the house. That was a fucking joke. Lighten up and laugh already.”

He smiled but I could tell it was strained.

I went through the rooms like a rocket. I looked at the pocket shutters and the pocket doors. I pulled them out and said, “The electricity on?”

“Yes.”

“Good, we're going to try all these outlets. If one doesn't work, I'm going to knock out a hundred thousand for each one.”

“I assure they all work.”

“My aunt bought a place out in Vegas that she'd love to tell you different. She has a brand new house that has no phone service, no cable, and no computer in any room but one. She'll wait another year before the home builder is able to repair it. She paid a million six. So, we'll try the outlets. He told me I could.”

“Did you have this much of a conversation with him?”

“The man and I talked for hours. Sheesh, get him to talking and you'd be amazed at what you hear. Is he as good looking as you?”

“Ummm, errr, I can't say.”

“Let's see. I looked you up in the gay yellow pages and you can't tell me if a man is a stud. Were you advertising in the right yellow pages?”

He looked at me and said, “It's improper for me to say.”

“Ok, let me say something sugar. You've been a real horse's ass since I've been talking. The length of nose you've been looking down, I'd have to say is longer than the hood on a semi. So, what we'll do is I'll go back and tell him you cost him the sale of this house. Then, when he goes ragging to your boss, he'll find out you do this to everyone. Once this son of a bitch comes off the market, I'll snap it up and then you'll have me as a neighbor anyway. Ok?”

“You are sorely tempting me to lose my composure.”

“If that's what you're calling it, then lose it already. I want a salesperson that will lighten up and have some fun selling me a house. You're acting like the last man you had worked at a concrete plant with as much stone as you've got shoved, so puh-leaze loosen it and jump my ass or something.”

“Ok, shut it.”

“Wrong words unless you're telling me to shut the pocket shutters. I think I'll go up and look at the bedrooms.”

“No, because if you do that, I'm afraid with the amount of cooth you're showing, you'll be attempting to smell sheets for the dried spots.”

“Ooh sister, your fantasies are wicked. I'll be right back. If you need me, wait on the third floor and we'll talk about things on the widow's walk.”

I took off up the steps and left him speachless. When I went through the bedrooms I took a look at the layout and loved the entire place. I was down to two seven already, but he had no clue.

When I got up to the widow's walk, I said, “Ok, here's the deal. I offer two four. Then he's going to counter with three. Then, you counter back with two seven and tell him that's it. He's expecting a call. You want to speak to him on your cell, or mine.”

“Two Seven!”

“Yeah, but offer two four first.”

“I will do no such thing!”

“Let's see. This fucker's been planted on the market for over a year. His ex wife is squeezing his nuts tighter than a hooker with ten cops jumping out and you want to tell me the man doesn't want an offer?”

“Where did you ever learn such gutter talk?”

“Let's see. A lot of it, I caught off of jerks like you when I was laying under them in prison. They all thought I was beneath them. Well, by the time they were screaming out all their terms of affection, I was bringing them around the bend. You want to call, or me?”

“I can not, nor will I sell you this house!”

“Ok, I'll call.”

I dialed the phone and it was answered on the second ring. “Robert?”

“Yes”

“This is Rhette. I flew all the way down here and I just made an offer on this beautiful house. The realtor is standing with me and he doesn't want to consider even negotiating with you. What do you say for my offer of two four.”

“Ok, tell him I'll take it.” Robert said through the earpiece.

“Mr. Collins, he says he'll take the offer.” I said looking at the realtor winking.

Collins looked at me and yanked the phone from my hand. “Mister Sharp? Yes, this is your realtor. You do! Well, I'll do the paperwork then.”

He got off the phone and said, “He says you agreed to the closing costs.”

“I did. Thanks for negotiating in good faith...asshole.”

“I'll say what I think after I see if you can get financing.”

“Who the fuck's financing! Unless you're fucking a banker, and he's giving me the money for free, I've got the bank cheque in my pocket!”

“What?”

“Which part didn't you understand. Is a banker beneath you too?”

“No”

“Oh, so you must not be used to people paying what they say they're going to pay upfront. Maybe you really didn't want to sell me the house, but listen up and listen good. Unless a hundred and fifty grand isn't a good payday for you, then get over the fucking attitude. I picked you because you're supposed to be gay. That's it. All you've given is attitude and I'll really have to contact them and tell them you're not very nice towards gays.”

“I've been all too nice to you.”

“Yeah?” I looked at him increduously,“Let's see. I'm gutter filth to you. I'm cheap trash apparently, and I don't need a house I think is beautiful. I'm supposing you're wanting to sell me a trailer and having me with curlers in my hair, is that it?”

“I'll reserve my comments now.”

“Well, I certainly would. By the way, I do know the golf course membership comes with the purchase. It's a lifetime membership which comes with the house and gets sold with the house. It comes with the Country Club fees paid for the lifetime of the house. Now, if I were a dumbass, I'd not know that. You'd probably fuck me out of the membership by telling Muffy over there to not extend me the offer. Well dick, take it and shove that information. I also know where the property lines lay. You can attempt to sell that lot over there, but unless it's not on the sale of this parcel, I'll sue you grandly and get the price back out of you directly. He told me it was there, and furthermore. You thought I was real good until you met me. So let's see if you can get me back to the office. Get the papers signed, fax them to Robert, and then hand me the keys to my house....without me requesting to see your realtor's license number.”

He looked at me shocked and said, “I'm sorry.”

“Dude, you've acted like you've had something shoved up your ass since I said I was bringing my laptop. I'm sorry, but I've got to use it to contact my banker. He's already been told to wire my funds to this bank if I like this house. All I've got to do then, is to drive back to Savannah and then fly down to West Palm Beach so I can pick up my new car.”

“What the hell is so special about a car in West Palm Beach?”

“Has a Rolls dealership opened here recently they don't know about?”

“Well no.”

“Well...about the same time I saw this house, I decided I would look for a car that would hold onto it's value. A Rolls will do that, so I can drive the car for the next forty years and it will still be an awesome car.”

“Well you do have some tastes.”

“Yes I do. I thought you were fine until you showed attitude.”

“Well, I wouldn't have you if my life depended on it.”

“That's good because you'd probably be just as dead of a fuck as you are at selling houses.”

“The gutter tripe can put a sentence together.”

“Well try this one of for size. When I get off this phone call, you can explain to your boss why I refuse to buy a house from you.”

I opened my phone and dialed. “Hello, could I speak to the supervisor please. Yes, I'll wait.” I looked up at him and said, “You might as well go ahead. I'll look around while your boss comes to get me.”

“I can't leave you alone in this house.”

“Why the hell not! I've bought it. As far as the owner is concerned, it's my house. As far as I'm concerned, it's my house. Uh hello, yes, I'm out at this house with Mr. Collins and we're not seeing eye to eye. I've made a deal with the seller for two point four million. Could you please close the deal for me since I won't be buying the house from him?”

He stormed out of the house and I said, “Well, I'd let him speak to you, but he just stormed out of this house. Apparently, I'm someone who's a gutter tripe that can't apparently string together a sentence. Huh? Well, I'd say his problem is he likes to make judgements upon his buyers before the check's signed. Yes, I'll be here.”

I snapped off the phone smiling to myself for getting a 2% decrease in the commission on the house.

I looked around and wondered to myself how this house would hold in a hurricane. Hilton Head Island would block the wind, but the tidal surge would be a bit high if it was above fourteen feet.

I looked out the back door of the kitchen and really liked the way the back patio was laid out. It was approximately seventy five feet in diameter, but on the edge of that was about a two foot drop to the swamp. After knowing what I know about snakes, I'd be breaking bottles and putting the shards along that in order to keep them on their side.

I heard a knock on the front door and then heard the door bells. I went to look and it was a police officer. I answered the door and he said, “I'm responding to a call of an intruder.”

“None here. I'm here and haven't seen one since I've been here.”

“Uh what's your name?”

“Rhette Michaels.”

“You're the intruder sir.” he said with a smile.

“If that's the case, come on in! We'll talk and then you're going to want to go arrest that motherfucker for making a false police report.”

“Who would that be sir?”

“The real estate asshole who refused to sell me this house.”

“He said you were intruding after you refused to ride with him.”

“Let's see. Why don't I call the owner and you see if I agreed with him to purchase this house. Then, contact the asshole's supervisor....well, here comes that car, so I imagine it's the supervisor. I called him when the asshole made a bunch of snide remarks and stormed off after I called his supervisor. Watch this because I'm about to get 2% back on this house.”

“How are you going to do that sir?”

“They want to charge me 6%. Well, that man's comments and his behavior just knocked it down to 4. So, if I'm arrested, it'll be knocked down to zero because I'll be suing the shit out of the company and so will the owner.”

The Supervisor came running up the steps and I said, “Am I under arrest, or are you going to tell this fine fine man your man called and made a false report?”

He stuck out his hand and I said, “NOT until you agree to knock off 2 % of your commission! IF I don't have that, then I will have a ride back to my car and I will be filing suit against your company as soon as I get back to Missouri.”

“Uh sir.”

“Ok, so I'm under arrest? Because if I am, I'll own your company before I'm through.”

“No...no, you're not under arrest.”

“Ok, so tell this fine fine man that so I can have him rest easier.”

“He's not intruding. There seems to be a misunderstanding between he and my salesman.”

“No, I do believe my voice recorder here has the comments exactly as he stated. Would you like to hear?”

“Oh no. I didn't mean to doubt you.”

“Good, now, four percent sales commission and I pay two point four. You take the commission and if that asshole sees one cent of it, I'll be pissed.”

“No, I do believe he'll be looking for another line of work.”

“Good and I do believe I'll be contacting the gay yellow pages and telling them your company who has listed that man as a gay friendly salesperson...isn't.”

“We'll work things out.”

“Ok, now let me go invite this man back for tea just as soon as I close this deal.”

I turned to the Sheriff and said, “Sheriff, there's no problem here, but I would like for you to come back for tea if you don't mind.”

“Uh sure.”

“Good, I'll close this deal and then the house will be mine.”

“Won't there be any delay in your taking the house?”

“No, not according to the owner. He said as soon as I sign the papers and they have the check, he's going to instruct them to give me the keys.”

“Oh. Well in that case, I'll come back.” he said smiling.

I went over to the real estate man and said, “Let's go into the kitchen and sign them upon the counter.

“Ok So you've been in contact with the seller?”

“Yes, I called him to notify him your salesman refused to make the initial offer. I told him the offer and he accepted. I was willing to deal, but your salesman didn't even want to make the offer.”

“Ok you have that on tape too.”

“Yes, I've got it all on here. You want to hear?”

“No, I believe you.”

“So, I'll sign this check if you take that six percent and make it four.”

“Ok”

He laid out the paperwork and I read through them. I read each clause and said, “Where's the lifetime membership to the Country Club and the golf course? The owner assured me it would be sold with the house?”

“You have to be approved.”

“Ok, one moment.”

“I dialed Robert and said, “Robert, we're signing papers but they say I have to be approved in order to be a member and that it's not sold with the house. That's a problem.”

“I'm sure it's a part of the contract and the sale. It was sold to me as such.”

“Robert. Do you think they'll let someone like me become a member if I have to be approved? I mean, gays don't even get equal rights under this state's laws.”

“Let me speak to him.”

“Ok”

I handed the Supervisor the phone and said, “He would like to speak to you.”

The Supervisor spoke to Robert and Robert said, “One moment, I'll go over here and look. If the contracts aren't the same, then there's been a grievous error.”

He went over to the second drawer down by the sink and opened it. He pulled out the sales contract and said, “It certainly is in here! I'll correct this immediately. Is it ok with you if he takes possession of the keys? Ok, I'll give them to him now, he's got the check here. Yes, he does operate in good faith.”

He got off the phone and said, “I'm sorry. The sales contract here isn't the same. I took the paperwork from him and it seems he was trying to get this sold without it.”

“I'm sure he was going to probably use that for himself. Now, I've got a question before I get on here and make my complaint, is he gay?”

“He says he is.”

“Well, he wasn't very gay friendly. I'm going to file a complaint.”

“Ummm, is that what sold this house?”

“I went with him specifically because he was supposed to be the gay person. If we don't support our own, others can discriminate against us. When we do that amongst ourselves, I feel compelled to make a complaint.”

“We don't get any responses from that add.”

“Well, how would you know if all of them coming in probably request him and he probably runs them off! I mean, I contacted him and I have tons of emails. He sent me all these photos and I was prepared to pay three when I started talking with him. Then, I asked to take my laptop and he hopped up on an attitude like you wouldn't believe. And then the more I asked about the house, the more he got pissed.”

“That's highly unusual.”

“You telling me! Then I told him about my other house which is up there on that website and he got all sorts of pissed off about the price I paid for it. It was downhill from there.”

“Oh sir, I apologize.”

“Well, it cost the homeowner six hundred grand and it cost you almost a hundred and twenty thousand on your commission. If I had an employee that cost me that on one of his bad days, I'd hate to see what he'd cost me on a good one?”

“Sir, I'll get these papers redrawn.”

“Ok, well I'll ride in with you and believe me, I'll go over them with a fine toothed comb. But, you've gotten his permission to give me the keys and then our business is over, right?”

“Yes, with the exception of me finding those membership papers. I'll be sure to get those to you.”

“Thanks.”

We left and I said, “Leave it open unless it's not safe.”

“We've not had problems before.”

“Good. Now, I want to ask some questions. What are the conditions of this community, can I have those gates shut?”

“Yes, no one closes them because they want to have an air of invitation.”

“He said it was an ordinance or something.”

“No, you can close them.”

“Now, what about dogs?”

“No pit bulls, but anything else is your option.”

“Ok, so I can have dobermen.”

“Yes, if that's your perogative.”

“Well, I've got to have an alarm system put out here in the yard with zone and infrared.”

“No, it's here. The panel is right there.” He said pointing.

“He said there wasn't any. That's why I knocked off the first hundred grand.”

“I can't believe he told you that.”

“Listen while we drive and you'll hear his whole attitude and lack of sales speal.”

We drove and he listened. When we got back to the office, he went over and took Mr Collins' certificate and photograph off the wall. He asked, “Can I put my recorder up here and record yours playing that?”

“Sure.”

“Well, let me put it in here so there's no background noise as I type up these papers.”

“Ok, whatever you need to do.”

He put the recorders in the other room and then began typing up the new paperwork. He looked over at me and said, “You really had him going!”

“Well, he judged immediately. Your job is to sell them and mine is to get dollars knocked off. All in all, I got a million four knocked off. That's more than a third. If JC Penny were throwing that good of a sale, I'd go.”

He smiled and said, “I would too. You got a steal on that house.”

“Yes, and I'm considering myself lucky.”

“And you got yourself a date with the Sheriff.”

“No, just tea.”

“He's available.”

“Really! What's a hot guy like that doing available?”

“I imagine because no one's made as much of an overture towards him as you.”

“Well, we'll have a spot of tea and then we'll see from there.”

“I'd say you wouldn't need dobermen if you have a policeman living with you.”

“No, not for a long while. I just got out of a long relationship. For me to jump back into the frying pan would be nuts.”

“You say that but I saw how you were looking at him.”

“Well, I'll see.” I said smiling, “The man is put together fine.”

“I'll throw in a year's membership to the club which he belongs. You can see his body being built.”

“It sounds like he has a fan club.”

“If I were twenty years younger, I'd be making overtures and singing that man arias.”

I smiled and said, “You're gay, but why'd you let that fucker work with me?”

“I'm straight sir! I'm married.”

“Ok, my bad, but....”

“I married because the amount of available men in this area who are as lovely looking as yourself was nil twenty years ago. So, I chose and I chose well. Now, for pleasure, I go work out at the gym and then go home to a marriage where I don't have to perform.”

“Man, I wouldn't have your life if you gave it to me.”

“I understand. Many wouldn't, but it's provided well for me and that's about all I can say. One thing you'll know is there aren't many around here.”

“Ummm, I don't know. I didn't see many hanging from trees, so they've got to be somewhere. The rednecks couldn't have run them all off.”

He looked at me shocked and said, “No, but just as soon as they find out they're different, they start making plans to get up out of here. Most of them go down to Savannah, or over to Atlanta...not many even begin to go up to Charleston.”

“Why's that?”

“Charleston's a bit of a drive. Between here and there, you've got some back roads that very easily could swallow a car. You'll probably drive along there and not ever think about it, but the kids around here know the stories and hear the rumors of how people disappear. Believe me, they wrote the movie Deliverance, but they put it in the wrong state.”

“Man, and I just bought a house here.”

“And you'll enjoy your house. As cute as you are, I'm sure you could keep the Sheriff happy, BUT you also need to understand he's a man and he's elected. Until he gives up his position, you'll probably be his secret.”

“I'll probably have him over for a glass of tea and not get involved. I've had one friendship quasi relationship where the guy wouldn't leave his life for me and I'll not do that again. There's too much heartache in it.”

“If I might ask, what do you do for a living?”

“Retired. I just sold out to my ex. What I do now is I write stories....love stories. I'll pull up the sites for you and then you can enjoy reading a lot of them.”

“There are sites on the internet which have stories?”

“Yeah, a goodly number. The one's I write for are some of the best. I've not been writing long, but I have been put up for a few awards.”

“Really!”

“Yeah, you and your boy might think I'm gutter trash, but the quality of writing I put out is well appreciated.”

“I did NOT think you're trash. He might, but please don't think I do.”

“Ok, I'm sorry. That's my assumption.”

“No, I envy you with your ability to be open about it.”

“There's prices to pay for that too, so I paid them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your boy did a background check. Somewhere in there, he found I went to prison for eight and a half years. It wasn't fun, but those are some of the dues I've paid.”

“You're not that old, are you?”

“Good plastic surgery. I took a baseball bat beating two years ago.”

“What!”

“Yeah, some local rednecks decided to rip the roof off my car and feed me a ball bat. There's seventeen surgeries that put this face back together. I still need three, but you can't tell a thing unless I eat rice or anything like grits. The stuff gets down inside my cheek and I have to flush it out.”

“Oh man, I'm sorry.”

“The pictures are horrific. I still can't bring myself to look at them. The pictures of me before it happened and after are vastly different. People think I'm good looking now, but if I could have my old face back, I'd really do that.”

“So that's your concern over security.”

“Yes, that rental car out there doesn't have any sort of security. Just driving up here in it had me talking to myself like a loon to keep me from the bin. I mean, I'm an unknown here, but I'm not going to be in the closet. I'm quiet, but I still shop and I still am myself.”

“I think you're great. You probably don't remember a show called Gidget, but you've got that personality. It's innocense, with an air of extreme sexuality.”

“Really! I know guys are turned on by me, but I'm myself.”

“It's because you don't act like you're as good looking as you are. Yes, you say it's the surgeries, but I'll tell you beauty comes from within and you've got it.”

“Good. At least I know I have something!” I said smiling with the dimples flaring.

He laughed and said, “I wouldn't mind having you for a friend, if you'd allow that.”

“That's fine, you know where I live!”

He laughed and said, “Do you play golf?”

“I watch it on tv because some of those guys are nice looking, but some have big asses.”

“You'll find it's a sport which is something you'll get addicted to. With your membership, you'll get into all of these courses and any Palmer course in the country. My advice is to get a set of clubs and go take lessons.”

“Is the guy giving the lessons hot?”

“Let's say you'll find him appealing, but he's in the same situation as myself. He's married.”

“Is that what they all do here?”

“The one's that don't get out do. I'm sure some of them hook up, but the drive to Savannah is a bit long and that's the closest gay clubs near here.”

“None are gay friendly?”

“No.”

“Maybe I'll have to seek them out and turn my ground floor into an oasis.”

“If you do, be aware you neighbors and your neighbor three houses down writes the gossip section for the paper.”

“Oh really!”

“Yes. She's probably already been up to your door or the pie's in the cover to bring. Don't plan on Supper because her chicken pie is amazing.”

“Oh good. But, will she spread those pieces of gossip?”

“She'll probably allude to things, but once you come out to her, I doubt if she'll hold it over your head. She knows a lot of information about many people. My advice is to try to be her friend.”

“Does she put on airs like everyone else?”

“You think I put on airs?”

“Yes, but there's a real part to you too. Your asshole salesman, well that's another story. He might get that off with people who will put up with it, but not this one...and believe me, I've had billionaire boyfriends who've been real. The “real” rich don't play that shit.”

“I understand. They're already at the top of the game everyone's scratching and clawing to achieve. You seem to have accepted your situation in life nicely.”

“I've got more money in the bank in a trust fund I don't touch than what everyone here probably has...that's why I don't make pretenses. It didn't save me from going to prison, and it didn't save me from a beating, so when you realize it won't keep you away from the worst in life, you don't make airs.”

“I understand. I had an older lady friend once who was very wealthy tell me all her money didn't keep her from dying. When she passed away, she gave it to the human society. She said every dog she'd met treated her more honestly than society ever had.”

“True. My little Gypsy girl never knows a stranger, but she can read people way better than I ever could. So, when I meet people, I introduce Gypsy and if they shy away from her or she won't go to them, I play nice and get them the hell away from me.”

“Good plan.”

“BUT, when you meet her, you'll see a little girl that knows she's spoiled. Now, what I have to do is get these papers signed and then go order me some feather mattresses for that house and get a lot of things so I can set up house here. BUT, I have an appointment in West Palm Beach tomorrow.”

“What's there?”

“The Rolls dealer. I'm getting a Drop Head Coupe. I'll probably have my Dakota out here while I'm waiting the security systems put on the car, but once that's done, I'll put the truck in the garage.”

“The Garage isn't heated. You might want to look at that for the car.”

“It gets that cold here?”

“No, but you want a climate controlled environment for the car.”

“No, if it's a car of it's worth, it'll hold up to the environment. I do know the hood is stainless steel, so that should deflect the heat.”

“That's a good idea...as is the car. Not many around here have a Rolls, so you'll be seen as a person of taste.”

I laughed. “Well, does the country club have tennis courts?”

“Yes, many. They've got good instructors too.”

“No, I'm probably better than them. It's a skill I developed out on my parents farm. I found it by accident one day and since then, I've loved playing. For a long time, I didn't play at all, but I just spent twenty grand on hair removal of my legs so I wouldn't feel awkward.”

“Twenty grand!”

“Yeah, laser treatment on Godzilla costs that much. From the waist up, hairless. From the waist down, legs of a chimpanzee. So, I had it removed.”

“Oh, I bet they look nice now.”

I laughed and said, “I'd show you, but I have to leave a little to the imagination. You know!”

He laughed and said, “That personality is lovely.”

“Thanks.” I said giggling and winking.

He continued to type in on his forms and when he was done, he said, “Now, if I can't find those papers, I promise you to give you a complete refund of our commission. I have a feeling what you stated is true, as he's been denied permission to join that club.

He's not purchased land, or a house there, therefore, he's not allowed under their guidelines. They loosen their restrictions if you can afford a house there, but they get very very choosey when someone is applying without the confines of that community. I am a member myself, and you'll see my residence is almost directly across from yours.”

“Oh, that's nice. At least I'll know someone in the neighborhood.” I smiled.

“Me too. Now, I'll advise you this. The club has a workout training room. There's a specific reason I chose to give you this membership to the other spa. The men at the club who use the facilities do not favor gays. I can't say a name, but I know of at least one situation where the person was made very uncomfortable.”

“And the club allowed that!”

“They never knew. I suggest if you have any problems, you contact your Sheriff friend immediately. They won't be able to kick you out, so don't worry about that. They do take infractions rather seriously, so when you report it, you have names and the date firmly etched in your mind. They do have surveillance, but I don't know if there are records kept.”

“Ok, thanks for letting me know.”

“Last. I'm going to terminate the gentleman who assisted you earlier. I will tell the guards for our community he's no longer allowed access. If he does, you contact your Sheriff friend and you get him arrested. I'll second you on that to the fullest.”

“Do you think he'll cause a problem?”

“I don't know. I would like to think he wouldn't. But, I never thought he'd do the things he did to you, nor would I ever have thought he would steal from a seller or customer. I'm not sure which to report it as, but be assured, the theft will be reported.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“No, thank you! And, welcome to the neighborhood. Now let me go get your extra keys and your voice recorder. I'm really happy you had that.”

“I carry it with me everywhere since the attack.”

“I understand. I imagine I would too.”

He went and got the recorder and said, “They have a new model out that has three times the recording length on the same charge. I was looking at them myself. With your demonstration, I think I'll do just that.”

“Good, order two and I'll pay you back.”

“How about I order two and you consider it a house warming present.”

“Thanks!”

I left the office and went to back to the community. The guard stopped me and I showed him the purchase papers of the house. He smiled and said, “I'm Sam, Welcome home.”

“Thanks Sam. Has that realtor called you yet?”

“Yes, I just got off the phone with him. Rest assured he won't be entering here again.”

“Does everyone that live here just drive on by this place?”

“If we know the car.”

“OK, I'll be closing my gate Sam. That makes me a bit insecure.”

He nodded and said, “Rhett, there's never been a problem here before.”

“Sam, with my luck, the first time will be me. I don't want to invite trouble and I'd rather know when someone's coming rather than having them barreling up my drive.”

“I understand. Hopefully, in time, you'll grow more accustomed to our community.”

“I hope. This will be home for a while until I can get a place bought up North.”

He smiled and said, “Once again, Welcome.”

“Thanks Sam.”

I drove up and saw the Sheriff's car sitting in front of the steps to the house. The steps were so beautiful, I felt like I was entering the grounds of the Royal Hawaiian. The Georgian architecture was incredible.”

I got out and the Sheriff was sitting upon the rocking chair by the door.

“I hope you don't mind, but I helped myself to a glass of your tea.”

“There was some made!”

“No, I made it.”

“I've not bought supplies, so I don't know what is here and isn't.”

“You're well stocked. Whoever bought groceries did a nice job.”

“Good. How are you?”

“I'm doing well. Did everything go ok?”

'Yeah, these are the purchase papers. Here are my keys and now, I need to learn to set the alarm and get the gates shut. You wanna help me figure it out? I'd prefer it if you had a code.”

“It's not really needed.”

“I'll feel better and once we talk, you'll know more of why.”

“Ok, you want to sit out here?”

“No, the neighbors will probably stare and I don't feel like doing any posing.”

He chuckled and I said, “What's your name?”

“Steve.”

“Ok, hi Steve. My name's Rhett.”

“As in Butler?”

“As in Michaels. My mom was a Gone With The Wind fan. I have brothers named Ashley and Brent.”

He laughed and said, “And the tone of your voice tells me you've been teased about it all your life.”

“Let's just say I'm not wanting to meet anyone named Scarlett in this life. Now, one thing I insist upon Steve is when you come, you park over there by the garage. The neighbors talk and I don't want that sort of thing happening.”

He smiled and said, “So make myself at home.”

“Yeah, now you wanna walk around the house with me? I never really looked at it and while you're at it, you could take a sheet of paper and help me make a list of what I've got to get for this place.”

“It looks well appointed.”

“Yeah, but for me to live here and for Gypsy to feel at home, she's going to have to have some things too.”

“Gypsy?”

“Gypsy Rosa Lee. My cocker spaniel. I have photos of her. You wanna see?”

“Sure.”

We went in and I booted up the laptop. While I was booting, I opened the photo file and began telling him who all the photos were of.”

“So, is Kevin your ex?”

“Yes.”

“Nice looking fellow.”

“Yeah, it wasn't looks that shooed him off, but we can't live together any longer.”

“You single still?”

“Yeah, for the time being unless some hot Sheriff asks me out.”

He smiled and said, “You don't mince words.”

“No, and you never replied in the affirmative, so I'll take that as a no and not extend the invitation again.”

“Hold up! Let me think on it some.”

“Ok, how much time do you have?”

“I'm off duty unless something drastic comes up.”

“Ok, good. Now, I've got a question and you can answer it as truthful as you want.”

“Ok”

“Did you rush right over here after you got off work?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you eaten?”

“No. I was thinking about inviting you out.”

“Ok, but you've got to get more comfortable than that. I feel like I belong in handcuffs or something.”

“Is that a sexual come on?”

“No, that's a fact. You'll do a background check on me and know I did time.”

“What for?”

“I was with someone in a relationship who was under the age. He was fifteen when we got together and I was nineteen. When I was twenty one, and he was seventeen, someone chose to stick their nose in and call family services. She came and asked questions and while she was in the house, she looked at our photos on the piano and saw a photo of us at Halloween with him dressed as a cow with dildos for teets. I was on my knees in front of him and that photo got me locked up.”

“Son of a bitch!”

“Well, they offered me twenty and I had an expensive lawyer. The prosecuting attorney was a personal friend, and about the time we were going to dust it under the proverbial carpet, the newspaper got ahold of the story and made life hell. The end result was my future went out the window and so did his. We attempted to keep our relationship going, but after I was in prison for two years, he met someone at college and fell in love. We still speak about once a year, but I'm sure we'll lose contact now that I'm moving.”

“It sounds like you want that.”

“I want a new start. Life's too strange to live back home, so I'm moving.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Yeah, I'll talk. I want you to know everything. Once you know though, I'm not going to bring it up again. As of today, my life started over.”

“Anyone of significance you going to bring from the past?”

“Yeah, family and friends, but certainly not exes and the people who did this.”

I opened the photo album of the crime scene photos and he looked at them. “This is you!”

“That's what's left of me after the attack.”

He looked at the photos again and ran over and stuck his head in the trash bin. He got sick and then went over to the sink and washed his face. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. Everyone whose seen them has gotten that way. When they got done beating me, they stomped me and kicked me. All those cuts were made from the metal points on a pair of cowboy boots.”

“Did they catch them?”

“No and that's why I don't feel safe there....anywhere for that matter.”

“Why'd they do it?”

“That's what I'd like to know. We had a business and all the help was still working for us, so that wasn't it. Chad lives in Iowa, so I know it wasn't him because I had an investigator check and he worked at a cereal mill 3-11 and he worked that night.

So, the only people I can point back to directly was the family of my first lover...which doesn't make sense because they settled with me over my receiving Tony's trust fund.

All I can think is it was a bunch of rednecks who decided for the fun of it to go beat a fag. Well, they got me, but all I know was it was a White Ford F-150 4x4 that's the early 2000's models.”

“You never heard names or anything?”

“There really wasn't time. What's strange is I never locked my door in my car. It was a BMW Z3 Roadster. They could have opened the door and pulled me out, but as you can see, the windshield was bashed in and they ripped the top up off the car. To me, it says rage, but no one was that pissed at me.”

“Ok, let's switch subjects.”

“Good because there's going to be a night of nightmares for me seeing those photos.”

“I'm going to ask questions as a Sheriff. I'm sorry, but it's ingrained in me.”

“That's ok. You've shown more interest in this than anyone back home.”

“What!”

“They came and asked their questions but because I never heard any words, they never reported it as a hate crime.”

“Oh man, they're right, but that's crazy. It's a clear assault with deadly weapons which to me is attempted murder since you were left for dead.”

“The questions I answered at the hospital were the only ones ever asked. A month after it happened, my mom picked up my mail and there was a letter telling me since there wasn't any evidence discovered, they were closing the case.”

“Oh man!”

“Yeah, so when Kevin and I split up, my first thoughts were to leave and get the hell gone. He was my protector and the night he hit me, was the night things ended. I relived the whole attack over, but this time I fought back. He got every pot, pan, and knife in the kitchen thrown at him and chased from the house with a skillet. At the front door, we keep a baseball bat and I chased him to his Navigator with it. He'd forgotten his keys and I used it as batting practice. By the time I was done, there wasn't a piece of metal on it that wasn't bent, busted, or broken.

When I went back in the house after that, I went and locked myself in the bedroom and called my mom. She tore up the highway getting there and by the time she got there, he was gone. What I hated myself for was I saw myself becoming them.”

“Did you hit him?”

“No.”

“Did he press charges over the truck?”

“No, I bought the damned thing.”

He smiled and said, “Well there's no laws broken. Peace disturbance maybe, but there's no law about beating up your own vehicle.”

“Well, that was at the beginning of January. We didn't speak for two weeks and finally I decided I'd put the business up for sale. We had a clause in our contract that said he could buy me out, or I could buy him out, but I didn't want it. My heart wasn't in it any longer. So, we made the deal and he bought my share for fifty million. He pays sixty and he pays me a million every quarter for the next fifteen years. I receive half the income from it until June first.”

“So you paid cash for this place and how much does that leave you?”

“Oh hell. Let's see. I took money from Tony's trust fund at the beginning of this month, so are you asking about the trust? Or, in my checking?”

“Well, it's none of my business really, but it was curiosity.”

“Steve. Between you and I, the trust fund is worth a helluva lot. More money than most of these people have around here. Ok? I don't intend on using it, but I did to escape and come here.”

“Why here?”

“To be honest, I don't know. I went on the Dupont Register website and I started looking at houses in the South. Originally, I wanted to be around Tifton, Georgia. Something about the area cries out to me to come home. I looked and there wasn't anything I really fell in love with. SO, I looked at Florida and Alabama and the same. For giggles, I looked a Puerto Rico and then, I looked on South Carolina. As soon as I saw this place, I nearly fell into the screen. It was love at first sight and I knew I had to have it.”

“It is pretty, but your property taxes are going to be huge.”

“That's ok. It's not like I can't afford them. What I've got to do, however is I've got to get a Doberman puppy and get him used to Gypsy. She'll kick his ass as she's real spoiled but once he knows she's boss, he'll sound vicious and he'll be safe to release if someone should start something.”

“How about just calling me?”

“Because the one in a million longshot of you being busy when I'm getting my brains bashed in exists. The dog will not have to be counted on to answer the phone. He'll be here and he'll chew whomever a new asshole on their way off the property. When I call you, it will be to report my dog lost...not to tell you I've set him loose upon someone. If I tell you the other, you have grounds for charges. If he just happened to bite someone, then my homeowners covers it.”

He smiled and said, “You know the loopholes rather well.”

“Kevin was a law clerk in prison. He's the best. The man could find a loophole better than you'd ever imagine. In typing and discussing things with him, I learned to look deep into the gray areas and find the loopholes.”

He smiled and said, “As long as you don't use them upon me.”

“Nope, the only loopholes I want to find with you are the ones that gets you out of those clothes. Why don't we go by your place and get you a change of clothes and go out and catch an early bird dinner.”

“Do you have a change of clothes.”

“Yeah, but the other change of clothes I have are a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. There's a pair of tennis shoes in there too.”

“Oh, so you were planning on dressing down.”

“Yeah, what you see here is the most I get dressed up. Yeah, I have tuxes at home, but if I wear one of those, it better be real special.”

He laughed and said, “Why don't you put on your jeans and tee shirt and tennis shoes and we'll go crabbing.”

“Huh?”

“Crabbing. There's a crab shack up the road that's really good.”

“Oh, I was thinking you had a problem.”

He laughed real loud and said, “Nah, I've only had them once and it came off an inmate.”

“Me too. I'll tell you the best way to get rid of them is to make a paste of Comet and water and put it on and let it dry. Then, take a long hot shower.”

“Why?”

“As an inmate, if you report it, they put you in an orange jumpsuit for a week. If you don't report it and do what I said, no one treats you like a leper.”

“Oh! Does it work?”

“Yeah like a charm.”

“Good, I'll suggest that to my staff. The creams and ointments cost a lot and most of the time don't work.”

“Can I give you advice?”

“Yeah.”

“After an inmate moves out, take everything and I mean everything and you wash it down. Spray it with Lysol. Then you wash those military blankets in the hottest water you can and you won't have that problem. Usually the way it spreads is an inmate will hand off his blanket to someone else before he leaves.”

“Yeah, you know what they do.”

“Then why the hell don't you give them two blankets in the first place?”

“They'd use it to kill themselves.”

“Bullshit. You're trained that but the inmates are survivors. Only the guilty commit suicide and between you and I, if they do it, it saves the county the cost to prosecute.”

“Man, that was cold.”

“It's true and you know it!'

“Well....”

“See! Now, you know it and I know it, but you feel you need to hide behind their right of them to be innocent until proven guilty. Well, an innocent man doesn't do that shit. He'll tell you he's innocent and you can prove it. All the rest in there are guiltier than hell. I know it because I was one of them and I was guilty too!”

“You have a different case. Everyone's done what you've done.”

“Yeah, but the law is the law and I'm guilty just the same.”

“Ok, well thanks for telling me that.”

“Steve, I'm not going to bullshit you on things. I'm a grown man just as you and if I attempted to lie to you, you'd find out and it'd discredit anything I ever told you. So, rather than do that I think you're mature enough to know the truth.”

“What if I asked you if an outfit made me look fat?”

“I'd tell your sexy ass to get out of the clothes and let me look closer. If you were getting pudgy, I might tell you to hop on the bed and we'd exercise a while to get our heart rate up, but about the outfit making you look fat, that one there makes you look fine and if you want a bit of advice, don't ever ever go to brown. Those uniforms look like shit. The only thing I can say about a brown uniform is it makes a great package on a guy because you can tell everything he has.”

He laughed and said, “So, you like this dark blue.”

“Oh yeah, turn around and I'll look at you again...and when you turn around, I'll tell you to do it again and again and again.”

He laughed and said, “I feel like a piece of meat.”

“Well since you mentioned it....” I laughed

He smiled and said, “I like you.”

“Good, so we gonna go out?”

“Well, we have to talk about that.”

“I know. I'm a secret and you're the Sheriff. Your electibility will suffer if everyone knows.”

“Yeah, but I retire in four years.”

“You could retire when your term comes up. The retirement you receive is some kick ass stuff.”

“Yeah, but I want the retirement from the county too. The two together would provide me for the rest of my life and besides, I want to groom someone to take my job.”

“Ok, so with that known, I'm still asking......do......you.....wanna.....go....out!”

“Ok, but here's what I've got to say.”

“What because I'm hungry now.”

“When we go out in public, we have to be 'just friends'. I imagine some people will suspect, but that's something entirely different because they won't know.”

“Ok, but you said that was in public. What about in private because I'll tell you now that if my mom comes over here, she's going to know immediately by the way I look at you. And if you disrespect me by trying to stay gone while she's here, then that code will be changed on the gate and you will never be allowed near me again.”

“That's no problem. My brother knows and I think my mom knows. She's said as much for me to wait until I'm retired, but to be honest, you'll be my first.”

“Ok, well, we'll take things slow and we'll make sure you're comfortable with things.”

“Ok, now I want to ask you a few questions and then we'll go out to eat.”

“Ok, but come on up with me and I'll change and you can talk while I do it.”

“I'll wait down here and then we'll talk.”

“You might be a Southern charmer, but if we're going to be naked together under the covers, you might as well see what you're getting. Beside, I paid twenty grand for these legs and I want to show them off.”

“What do you mean you paid twenty grand for your legs?”

“Oh hell...let's go up and then you can see.”

We went up the steps and when we went into the bedroom, I kicked off my shoes and in one fluid motion I had my polo shirt off. His breath caught and said, “Man, you're gorgeous!”

“You think!”

“Yeah, oh man.” he said blushing.

“Well, then here goes nothing.”

I dropped my drawers and then turned around.

“I really wish you hadn't done that.”

“Why?”

“Because I'll be wearing wood all night long.”

I chuckled and said, “Thanks.”

He face was crimson from blushing and he said, “So what did you do to your legs for twenty grand?”

“You see how smooth they are?”

“Yeah.”

“That's not natural. How thick my pubic bush is was how thick the hair on my legs were clear to the tops of my toes. I turned down a scholarship to play tennis because of it and when I decided to do something for me after the breakup, this is what I did. You like?”

“Can I say something without you getting upset?”

“Steve! Say whatever you want. If you upset me, I'll tell you and we'll work through it. Me getting upset isn't something that's likely going to happen unless it's something really mean or heartless.

I write stories for chrissakes and some of my emails have been really scathing, but what I do is I look for the positive in them and know the person obviously took the time to write it because that's what they really felt. What bugs me is when someone chooses not to believe a character is fiction.”

“What sort of stories do you write?”

“Gay romance stories.”

“Really!”

“Yeah. Do you read them?”

“No, my favorite author is Danielle Steele.”

“Good, if you like hers then you'd probably like mine. The difference is mine have gay guys instead of a girl.”

“Cool! Do you publish them?”

“They're submitted to story sites on the web. You can go to the sites and read them.”

“Not one of those pay sites where I have to look at a bunch of guys, is it?”

“No, that's crap. If you want to see guys, go to Google and type in what you want to see and take the parental controls off. Paying for that is crap. But, to answer your question, these are free sites where you can pay to help keep the site up if you want, but you don't have to.”

“Oh. Ok, you'll have to show them to me.”

“Do you have a computer at home?”

“No.”

“Ok, well, you can use mine. We had a Chief of Police back home that looked at porn while at work and got his ass canned.”

“Oh man, I forgot about that.”

“Yeah, so if you want, you can use mine here. I can type my stories on the laptop while you surf if you want.'

“Thanks. I need to get a laptop.”

“Well, my suggestion is a Dell. Mine down there is top of the line and is a dual processor. If you get one, get one of those because the speed is amazing.”

“Ok”

“Yeah, someone around here has wireless because I got on here.”

“The city has it. It comes out of your taxes.”

“Good, but I'll never use their email. My advice is for you not either. I'll show you how to log on without them knowing it's you so in case any busybody wants to snoop, they're not going to find you.”

“Ok, but isn't that illegal?”

“No. It would be if I were hacking, but I'm not. What I'm doing is a trick my little brother showed me as to how he circumvented the blocks when he was in school.”

“Oh. Smart kid.”

“Yeah, they teach them all this stuff and then they expect them not to use it. I mean, nowadays kids can go on YouTube and learn everything. You'd be amazed at the stuff they show on there.”

“I know. It's scary.”

“You telling me! “

I got dressed and when I flipped my hair back, he came over and stood behind me. “Do you realize how much you look like a girl?”

“Yeah. If I could be built like you, I'd give anything, but I got this body, so I have to make the best of a bad situation.”

“It's not bad from where I'm standing!” he chuckled.

“I know. It's just I feel insecure about it. If I was bigger, I could put up more of a fight.”

“Don't worry about that while I'm around.”

I turned around and looked at him. He smiled and said, “You are irresistable, you know that.”

“I try to be. Now, how far up the road we going?”

“Just north of Beaufort.”

“Ok, can we go on in to Charleston to get some ice cream afterwards?”

“Where?”

“Swenson's. It's downtown if my memory serves me correct.”

“Ok, we taking mine, or yours?”

“Mine's rented. I pay by the mile. We can take it, but I'm deciding if I want to drive down tomorrow or fly?”

“Where?”

“West Palm Beach. I've got an appointment at a Rolls Royce dealer. I'm getting a new convertible.”

“Oh man!”

“Yeah, it's a beautiful car. I could wait to get one the color I wanted, but what they told me is they'd give me this one for a reduced rate and just as soon as the one I order comes in, they'll take it on a decent trade.”

“What color you getting?”

“I want on that's a burnt red with a cherry tinge. If you look at it one way, you'll see it as being almost a maroon, but if you look at it a different way, you'll see it as a dark red.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It is. The red with the stainless steel hood and the black top will make it look like the old ones.”

“Oh ok, so that's what you're going for.”

“Yeah, I thought about getting an old one, but I want the modern conveniences. So, I'm ordering this one and buying the one they have in inventory to drive while the other is being constructed.”

“Do you mind if I go with you?”

“No, you off?”

“I have days accrued I can take.”

“Do you want to use it for that?”

“I think it'd be fun. Besides, it'd give us time to get to know each other better. And, my suggestion is we either drive down in yours and turn it in, or we fly down and turn yours in at the airport on the way down. I don't really want to drive one while you drive the other. It would defeat the purpose.”

I nodded and said, “We taking your cruiser?”

“No, I've got a car.”

“Ok, that's good. I would probably feel more comfortable riding in the back of your cruiser. However, the seats in your cruiser are awesome.”

“Yeah, they're nice. It's a nice car. I've thought about getting it after I'm done using it and having it repainted.”

“Good choice. They don't make them anymore.”

“Yeah, we're going over to Impalas starting later this year.”

“Bad choice.”

“Why?”

“Up home, they went over to them and they've had nothing but problems. In fact, two of them caught on fire. The brain box is up front and they short out.”

“Oh”

“My advice is to go for Ford Escapes. They're good and affordable. If Progressive can use them as their fleet vehicle, you'll love it. Besides, I know you can drive the wheels off one and it'll stay good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Kevin had one before we traded it for the Navigator. The tires on it are 80,000 mile tires and he finally changed them after a hundred and twenty. When we traded it, it was looking just as good as the day we got it and it had two seventy on the odometer...and you'll be amazed at the mileage and the automatic four wheel drive.”

“We don't need it down here much.”

“How many run from you out into the swamps?”

“About once a month.”

“And how many pursuits do you break off because of that?”

“Almost every one of them.”

“And how many do you think you'll think you'll pursue with the Impalas?”

“All of them. They're front wheel drive.”

“And an Escape is four wheel with primary being front. If you don't get the Impalas, at least get one Escape and I bet you'll have officers that will beg to driv it.”

“Why?”

“It's like driving a sports car....awesome fun. You'll amaze yourself driving one. Besides, they have a cover you can get for the back to cover what you put in the trunk. They make cages for them, I do know that.”

“I'll call around and check with departments that have them.”

“Call Ralls County up in Missouri. Tell Ben I told you about his and he'll tell you everything. I turned him onto his. He was going to go for the larger Ford SUV, but now he's ecstatic over his fuel milage.”

“What do they get?”

“Twenty six and that's with it being a four wheel drive.”

“Oh man, that's good.”

“Yeah, and with that motor, it's bulletproof.”

“No breakdowns?”

“No, the only problems they had with them were the cruise controls, but they fixed that and they're not that expensive.”

“I'll call him. It's interesting because we figured we'd have to go to the Impalas as that's about the only thing out there with a police package.”

“The Ford isn't, but it's peppy and I bet you'll find it will catch anything. I know Kevin and I locked our cruise control on ninety five and drove in the city with it.”

“Huh!”

“Down at St. Louis. When you get on I-270, it's like the Indy 500. Either you go, or you get ran over. So, we would go over from one Interstate to the other on it and ours hummed along at that speed.”

“The police didn't patrol that stretch?”

“If a red light had been turned on, you'd had a three thousand car pile up. No, they stayed the hell out of the way.”

He laughed and said, “It's funny seeing law enforcement through a convict's eyes.”

I laughed and said, “Believe me, I'll be interested in what you're thinking too.”

“How did you survive in prison as small as you are?”

“How about I drive and you take my laptop and read “With Love”. You'll see how I survived.”

“You put it into a story?”

“Most of my life is in my stories. I might change the name of the character, but the character is usually me in a form.”

“Ok, well have you driven a Viper?”

“No, but I had a souped up 'Vette once. I imagine the horsepower's the same.”

“Nah, not unless it was really souped.”

“It was a 350 4bolt with twin Banks under the hood. Does that count?”

“Oh man. It'd probably give the Viper a run for the money.”

“Yeah, I bought it and told the guy who worked on them to make it go fast. He did.”

“I'd say.”

We went out and got into the cruiser. I put the laptop between my feet and said, “Where's the seat belt?”

“They took it out.”

“What! A police car that's going to give me a ticket for driving without one doesn't have them?”

“I have one, but they don't count on anyone sitting in that seat.”

“Oh man, so I'm on the ticket bench”

He laughed and said, “That's right. Now let me call in and take myself off call so they don't try to radio me.”

“Ok”

“While I'm at it, I'll tell them I'm not coming in until Friday.”

“Why Friday?”

“Because tomorrow is the day you're going to get your car. Then on Thursday, we'll go get your license and insurance and take a little trip up the highway a bit. I want to show you my home and introduce you to my mom and brother.”

“Oh ok. You sure about that?”

“Yeah. More sure about most things I've ever done.”

“Ok, so now I've got another question and you can say what you think, but I really want to get a Harley. You going to ride with?”

“I've got a Sportster. You can ride with me if you want.”

“Maybe, but I want one of my own too. Do you like your Sportster?”

“Love it. Why?”

“That's what I was thinking about getting.”

“You might be too short.”

“Nah, my body is too short. My legs are long enough. It's an optical elusion.”

He laughed and said, “You came up to my neck. You're short.”

“Nah, I was playing the part of a short guy. In real life, I'm tall. Shaq has to look up to me.”

He laughed and said, “Ok, I can see I'm not going to win that one.”

“No, is it up at your mom's?”

“No, it's over at my apartment.”

“Oh. Can I sit on it?”

“Yeah. We'd take it tonight but it's too cold.”

“Ok. I'm comfortable. I left single digits up home. For me to be down here in this warmth is nice.”

“I can see. You don't have a coat.”

“Nope and probably won't. As long as my feet are warm, I'm fine. What you'll find with me is most of the year, I wear cargos or crew shorts and a tank and flip flops. I put them away when the snow started flying and got out my pants.”

“You're going to love it down here.”

“Yeah, the only thing I regret is there no deep water to tie up a boat out back.”

“You don't need a boat. I've got one up at my mom's.”

“Oh ok.”

We drove over to his apartment and then went in. I looked around the living room and he came up behind me and hugged me. What you looking at?”

“All your memorabilia. I've always wanted to collect Coke items but was always afraid I'd end up with a knock off instead of the real thing.”

“It's hard to tell...especially the trays. I can give you a clue and that's to take a black light with you when you look for them. The new paint does a funny thing under black light, but the old doesn't.”

“Ok, well I never knew, but I love your collection.”

“Up at mom's, I have four of the old soda machines.”

“Well, we've got that basement at the house that's unfinished if you want.”

“Let's wait and we'll see.”

“Ok. I'm offering though.”

“I know and I appreciate it. I just don't want you thinking I'm jumping into anything and I don't want you to either.”

“I'm not. It's strange, but I hold myself back, but if it's right, I don't.”

“I know and that's how I am. That's why I took the extra day.”

“Good, while we're up in Charleston, I want to show you a place.”

“What is it?”

“A house that the last time I was there, something came over me and I was like possessed. What's strange is it let us read the plaque out front and then, I started seeing the whole street and everything like it was back in the horse and buggy days. It took me up the street to the church. Then we went in and through it and out the side door to the cemetary and out and directly to the grave of the guy that owned the house. It was eerie.”

“I imagine. You noticed I didn't doubt you. There's a reason. One night, up the highway, I got a call and went to respond to someone seeing some lights out at an abandoned farm. I went out and the whole time I was driving out there, I could see the place all lit up like some kids were throwing a huge party. I parked and walked up to the place and every light was on and I mean the jazz was screaming out of it. As soon as I stepped through the door, it was dark. I pulled out my flashlight and shined it and the cobwebs were everywhere. It was like the place was abandoned. Then, just as soon as I stepped back outside, the music started playing and the lights were all on. SO, I stepped back in and I shined my light up at the light fixture and there weren't any bulbs in it.”

“Oh man, I'd've hauled ass.”

“Well good because that's what I did. I called it in and never once said what I really found. To this day, the only people I've told were my family.”

“Well, don't feel bad. There's something there we can't explain, but who knows.”

He said, “Come with me and help me pick out my outfits for tonight and tomorrow. If you don't mind, I'll stay over there in a guest room.”

“Ok, no problem, but did you see anything for breakfast there?”

“No, we'll get something on the road.”

“Oh man, I've got to get you to eatting right. If you eat from a fast food place, you'll never get nutrition.”

“Yes mom. You and my mother both say the same thing.”

“Good. Maybe you'll listen.”

He smiled and said, “You're going to love my mom.”

“I imagine. You'll love mine too. She's no nonsense but she does it with love. One thing that's hard to get used to is she's still a mom to Kevin, so I know to share.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kevin's mom is a bitch. There's no nice way to put it about her, but call it as I see it. When we got together, she told him to call her mom and he did. As the years passed, she was there for him just as much as she was for me. Now that we're broke up, she's not shutting off her affection for him and I don't want her to.”

“That's good. It tells the sort of mom you have and the sort of person you are.”

“Yeah, I'll love him always and we'll be friends, but for relationship, I need to go on. He's going to do good, so I have no worries. I can make the break without a bad feeling.”

“You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that.”

“No, here's what I mean and then you'll know.”

“Ok”

“You love your mom, right?”

“Yeah with all my heart.”

“And what would happen if you met me and we decided to live in like...Texas. Would you be able to go?”

“Oh man. That would be tough.”

“Yeah. That's where it was for me. BUT, what I realized was I love her, but there are times I don't see her but maybe once a month. We speak on the phone every day, but we don't see each other and we live in the same town. So, what I figure is I'll go up there once every month or so and visit. I know I have to go every three months to get my check from Kevin, so that'll be a fine time to see mom.”

“Can't you have him deposit it directly?”

“Yeah, and I can have an excuse as to why the money never made it. If it's put in my hand, I know I got it. If he doesn't pay, then I take over the business immediately and I sell it to someone that will pay.”

“Oh. Do you think he'll do that to you?”

“Not really, but I never thought he'd screw around on me either, but he did. So, I'm not doubting a thing with him.”

“Man, is that what happened?”

“Ok, here's it in a nutshell. I got attacked and as a way of celebrating getting over all the plastic surgeries, I went down to St. Louis and went on the stage with Patrina doing drag. While I was doing the show, a guy came up to Kevin and implied threats about me. Rather than coming to me, he let the guy blackmail him. It turned out the guy and he started a relationship and Kevin kept it from me. Finally, after a while, Kevin started going on these trips an awful lot to go to ballgames with this guy. I got suspicious and did a check on the dude and found out he had a prior on manufacturing. The guy lived in our town and had no means of support, but always had large wads of cash. Time went on and finally, one night, Kevin came home with a different shirt on than the one he had on at work. I asked him about it and he confessed everything and said he was planning on telling me because he was going to live with the guy. Needless to say, I put a stop to it by calling all my friends and getting a lot of things done. The guy got arrested and a whole field got burned he was growing pot in. What I didn't know was the guy had a grow house too and Kevin's name was on it. Kevin got arrested and then, we got him out. We acted like nothing was wrong and we went for counciling. I got told what a bitch I was so much I started blaming myself for everything. Everything was my fault as to why he ended up fucking the guy. Now, Kevin had screwed around once before with a woman, but I could chalk it up to him trying something he never had...but with a guy, it just didn't settle well that he'd went with another guy. Then, we got to Christmas and we played nice. After Christmas, we went to Vegas out to my aunts, and stayed at the Bellagio where a friend of ours lives. He's a high stakes poker player. One day while Patrik and I were playing poker, Kevin started accusing me of screwing around with Patrik. Nevermind the fact wherever we all went, either Patrik's wife was with us and Kevin, or Kevin was with us, but still...I was getting accused of it and it really pissed me off. So, Kevin thought I went to our room and he stayed to argue with Patrik. I went and packed and left for Hawaii to do a two week vacation. I left him a note telling him to go home and pack his things and be out by the time I got home.

When I got home, he wasn't out and he started the accusations again. Finally, I snapped and told him I wasn't the one that screwed around and that I thought he was sounding really guilty and if he wanted the guy so much he might just go to prison to fuck him. That's when I found myself coming up off the floor with a black eye and chased him out of the house.”

“What happened after that?”

“He went to his mom's to live and I fired him from work. Three days no call no show and I could do that. Then, I decided fuck it and that I didn't want the business. SO, I put it on the market and then told him to either sign it over so we could sell it, or he could buy me out. He bought it from me. That leads us up until the end of January.

Earlier this month, I went out with a guy and he bought dinner. After dinner, the guy was all hands and wanted me to pay up by taking him to bed. He got really aggressive and finally, I told him to pull over and that the dinner wasn't that expensive or that good and that I was worth a lot more than that. He thought he was king shit and started gettig really threatening, so I called 9-1-1 on my cell phone and then called my mom. The police got there and they let the guy go. My mom got there and gave the police all sorts of shit. My mental state was terrible and I decided I had to get out of there. So, I started shopping for a house. That's when I found this one.

I emailed the guy for a week and then made the appointment to come down here.”

“Man, you had to be scared.”

“Yeah, but the police were like....oh well, the faggot probably asked for it. I mean, for them to consider it's a crime if someone says no, is really stupid. To them, a guy can't get raped.”

“Bullshit. I've had guys in my jail that get raped that are bigger than you. I take it all seriously.”

“Yeah, but that's the law up there. SO, if I get down on the law, just know it's what I'm from.”

“Ok, but give us a chance down here. I run a professional force.”

“Ok, but if I see something wrong, I'll be sure to let you know. You might think your guys are all top notch, but they might be dicks behind your back.”

“No, here's how I know. All over this area, I've got friends in hi and low places. Each day, I drive around and I ask. They'd tell me if they have any problems, or have heard of any problems. When I first came on, there were problems, but I got that taken care of real fast. Two officers were asked to leave and go someplace else, or suffer the consequences. One, I just fired. When the dust settled, the rest of them realized I meant business.”

“How'd you get elected being Sheriff so young.”

“Well, here's what I need to tell you.”

“Ok”

“My family. They're not poor. Most of the land up where we live, is my family's. My daddy was Sheriff before me and when he retired, he had me run and supported me. I got it and then it took changes because a few of them expected me to run it like my daddy did. My daddy wasn't an honest Sheriff.”

“Oh.”

“Then, what happened was we had this explosion of money. Hilton Head Island was being developed and growing and then in the nineties, they started building all those towns. Huge developments brought huge taxes in and suddenly, we went from backwater to upscale. I grew it by asking for a tax increase for the police and got it. My budget tripled over night. What I did, was I asked for new cars so people could see their dollars at work. Then, I put a third of the money into the county fund for a new jail house. When I got that built, everyone was afraid they'd be arrested, but what they didn't know was from the moment it was designed, it was full of overflow from the cities. Savannah won't put their inmates in my jail because they're in a different state, but what they'll do is they'll put the inmates from up here in my jail to await trial. Instead of them paying me, our state, or the feds pay and the taxpayers get it back through restitution. Now that Charleston's getting so large, we're getting more and more of their's. We stay full, but what happens is we have a whole sect of followers who all take up residence to follow the inmates. When they move in, they live off the government and then, they begin dealing and stealing to pay to get the guy bonded out. Once he's out, he stays and it's a mess. I have two thirds of my county that's not got one bit of problems, and one third that's zapping the money from the others.”

“What's the local police like over there?”

“You're looking at him. The towns are so poor they can't afford police. So any calls that come in are coming to me and mine. We go in and we try, but by the time we get there, there's nothing wrong and everything's disappeared.”

“Ok, so what's your funding like?”

“Why?”

“I'm asking because you might not be able to do things, but a private individual can.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let's say the same situation happened in a little area of Kansas City. It was the Italian Section. They had the same problem and it was Mexicans that were doing it.”

“Ok, so what went on?”

“Back then, there were no Federal Marshals on domestic flights. All one had to do was go over the border on a day pass, hop a flight and by afternoon, he was in Kansas City. Who was going to look for him there when they thought he was still in Texas?

With them came crime and the Italians were pissed. A friend of mine started up a militia and he started banging heads. Yeah, you could say he was mafia and I'd say that too, but the police's hands were tied and they had gangs of Mexican mafia running the Italians out. SO, he started banging heads and enforcing the laws of the streets. If you stole, you lost a hand. If your hand was missing and you were caught again, you lost your head and none of the rest of you was found. He built it up and he regained control. The police knew something was happening, but they didn't know because the Italians weren't saying a thing except to tell the police to get on down the street and that they weren't getting a thing done when they were called, so they weren't called any longer.”

“Oh man. That's what I'm afraid of.”

“What? That someone will step in and enforce what you can't?”

“No, that a war would take place and innocents get in the middle.”

“Then I'd say you need help and someone that's going to do it on your side because either they'll be on your side or they'll be out on the streets for themselves. Gino wasn't out to sell drugs, he was out to get them away from his people!”

“So you know the guy?”

“Know him! He's the one that wanted to be with me after my first lover blew his head off! He had to decide if his people and prestige meant more to him that me, or vice versa. He couldn't decide, so I decided for him. I left the city.”

“Oh, so you still friendly with him?”

“He died....of old age, but his son runs it now and I'm good friends with him.”

“Ok, I won't ask any more.”

“I'm not hiding anything here Steve. I want you to know there are options if it gets bad. Don't let one of your officers step into a problem that could end up getting him killed.”

“I'm not. We answer calls two at at time there.”

“Ok, but if someone comes in and you start having AK47, burping into houses, then let me know and I'll make a call.”

“If that happens, then I've really lost, haven't I?”

“No, because the way it will happen is you'll start hearing reports of black military vehicles that are armored to the gills running the streets. Your guys won't ever see them but the timing is perfect. They'll be leaving when your guys are pulling up. All your guys see are a shadow turning the corner at the end of the block. When they run into a house, the bad guys are laying on the floor in handcuffs already.”

“Really!”

“Yeah and let me tell you that once that happens, everyone's talking and you're getting convictions. The streets get safer and when they're safe, you stop seeing shadows.”

“What happens?”

“They go home, but what you'll hear from your guys is this....when you're having a chase, up ahead is going to be a road blocked off with a black military truck. They'll have flares out and believe me, those trucks won't move. Either the runner will hit, or they'll have to go off the road, or stop, but the guy gets caught.”

“What happens if they get hit?”

“I'll tell you that the black truck gets hauled out of there before even an ambulance arrives. They're that efficient.”

“How do you know so much?”

“Gino and I were lovers. We patrolled the streets in one of those trucks. What the police didn't know was each one of their cars had a homing signal in it which told them they were near. He knew response times better than they did...both code 1 and not.”

“Really!”

“Yeah. He'd hold a stop watch and knew down to the second how fast they had to be in and out of a place.”

“What did they do?”

“They'd go into a house and from the moment they kicked in, they had time assuming the police had been caught to get the goods and have them sitting out in plain sight. Then, they had to take down the people and get them handcuffed on the floor with their shit by them. No one flushed and no one did a thing because the water had been shut off.”

“Oh man, that'd be a dream.”

“Yeah, but they'd get reports in on a car cruising through the area either wanting to buy or selling. They'd do a pull over and if it was a seller, they were cuffed and put in the back seat with all the drugs placed on the front seat.”

“If it was a buyer, they'd tell him to get out of the area and to stay out. They kept track of the cars and the license plates and the second time a guy thought he was slick enough to come into the area, he'd find himself dropped off at his house without his car.”

“What happened to the car?”

“It was the cost of doing business.”

“Oh man, I can't have that.”

“Ok, you think not, but let me tell you this...if the guy is concentrating on getting another vehicle, he's not putting out money to buy drugs...and by the time he's got the money, the seller is in jail.”

“Oh. You mentioned about evidence. What did they have?”

“If it wasn't the drugs themselves, they had videos of the sales being made. There was enough there for a prosecuter to see and a judge to put them away. Now, I'll tell you this...Gino's organization is big. He's got people all over. You don't just do that and hope they don't get caught someday themselves. He had cops on the inside and he had people in the courthouse. If you really want to know, he had people on boards of banks and if there were liens on vehicles, the banks got the cars back but the cars were hidden until the payments weren't made on them.”

“Oh man”

“Yeah, but when the end happened, the whole downtown are was cleaner and there were a lot of people put away.”

“So how'd you come about going to prison if he could do all this?”

“I never asked for help. I figured I put myself in that boat, I could pay the price.”

“So you never asked...what a dumb ass.”

“Yeah, but I had pride. He gave me up, and I wasn't going to go to him by default.”

“I see. Do you think he would have done that?”

“I don't know. I wasn't taking the chance.”

He said, “Let's go pick out my outfit and talk about this on the way up.”

We went into the bedroom and he said, “You showed me yours, now I'll show you mine.”

He took off his shirt and I said, “Is it show and tell or feel and touch?”

“Show and tell. If you get to feeling and touching, we'll be right here come morning. My willpower regarding you isn't much.”

“Ok, but damn you have a nice chest.”

“Thanks”

“Turn around, I want to see your ass first when you drop your pants.”

“I don't freeball like you.”

“Ok, so I'll see your underoos.”

“Nope, Hanes.”

“Ok, must be a Republican.”

“How'd you know?”

“A Democrat would have something exciting on.”

“Oooh, don't tell me you're one.”

“Nope, I'm an American. I vote whoever's going to work for a living.”

“Ok, I can understand that.”

He dropped his pants and I said, “Man, is that solid?”

“Yeah.”

“And I can't touch. Sheesh.”

“Nope.”

He dropped his briefs and stood there. “That ass has to be like marble....whew!”

“Yeah, I work out.”

“I don't. I run and that's about it.”

“You don't need to. You've got a perfect body.”

“Crap. You could grab a slab on me.”

“Where?”

“You're not touching, remember?”

He smiled and said, “You're so damned cute, you nearly had me falling for it.”

I smiled and said, “Ok, turn around, I can't stand it anymore.”

He dropped his Hanes and I said, “Man fella, I'm impressed.”

“You think you can handle it all?”

“If I could touch, yes. But, since I can't touch, well..... It looks nice.”

He laughed out loud and said, “I was worried.”

“Hon, it wouldn't matter what you had, I'd be real nice to it.”

“Ok, well, I'm putting on a clean change of underwear and I'm going to pack some to take with me. In the upper right drawer of the dresser there is my underoos, as you say, would you pick me out two pair?”

“I'll pack three in case you have an accident.”

“I doubt that.”

“ You never know. What clothes do you want to pack?”

“I'm wearing those jeans over there and in my closet is a variety of shirts, pick one.”

“Ok, and for tomorrow?”

“I'll wear that black outfit over there. My boots are below.”

“Ok, black would look good on you.”

I threw the outfits upon his bed and said, “Anything else?”

“In the left drawer is my socks. I'll need a pair of boot socks and a pair of ankle socks for my tennis shoes. Then, get me another pair to wear for Friday. Black to go with my uniform.”

“Ok, so you staying over Thursday?”

“Depends.”

“Depends is an undergarment worn by old people who are incontinent. Now they're out in a boat because they're sure wet.”

He smiled and said, “Ok, I'll stay over since you talked me into it.”

“Ok, how much do you pay for rent?”

“Why?”

“I have that apartment above the garage.”

”Let's make it for your parents when the come.”

“There's five bedrooms for them.”

“You putting me out to the dog house?”

“I'm just saying it would look good officially if you were living in that apartment if you and I put it together and you're seen with your car there over night.”

“Oh...well, you're probably right.”

“Probably....”

“Yeah, My lease comes up in May. We'll talk about the rent.”

“Ok. Nothing if you promise to train the dog.”

“You're set on getting a Doberman, aren't you?”

“Yeah. Gypsy's getting old and she can help train it to do all of the tricks she knows, but she'll have that dog needing Prozac with her mood swings.”

He laughed and said, “I know how she feels.”

“Now do you!”

He smiled and came up and hugged me. “I imagine I'd love to train the dog. I was just hoping I wasn't getting banished to the garage.”

“No, whenever we put it together, I'll be a good bedmate, but you've got to promise not to steal all the covers.”

“We'll get oversized.”

“Ok, but I've got to order the feather mattresses.”

“You like feather mattresses?”

“Yeah, my bed at home has three of them on it. Then, I've got two feather duvets. Gypsy gets up on it and acts like a kid in a moon walk.”

“I bet that's cute.”

“Yeah, I love that dog. She'll take to you immediately, but you have to be careful because she loves her treats and once she knows she can get treats for showing you her tricks, she'll be doing them all and making some up.”

“So she knows forty?”

“Yeah, they're single word commands like sit, lay, roll, down, up, bed, outside, crawl, over, house, and a lot more. She knows frisbee, ball, bone, and she has other toys too. One is like a frisbee, but it's a little pillow with a rope ring around it. You throw it like a frisbee, but she fetches it like a ball and carries it by the rope.”

“Ok. You taught her all them?”

“Yeah, she tolerated Kevin, but she wasn't wild about him since I had her before he moved in. He took up her side of the bed.”

“So we need to get a bigger bed.”

“I've got a Queen size, but a King would be nice since she'll probably have that Doberman sleeping on it. That reminds me, I've got to find a good vet and a groomer.”

“There's one over on the main strip that's really good.”

“Here's how I know if they're good. The first groomer I had worked at the vet. She put Gypsy out in order to cut her hair. When I found out that's why Gyp was tired for two days afterwards, I found another Groomer and a vet. He had to be the one drugging her.”

“That's not right.”

“I didn't think so either. So, I found one that would let me stay with her while her hair was cut and the whole time, she was really patient and kind to her. Then, I asked her who to suggest and she gave me the name of a real sweet man who does all her vet work.”

“What color is she?”

“She's what you call a party mix. She's black and white. Her nose has an F on it in black.”

“Cute.”

“Yeah, and she knows it. She loves her ice cream and her chocolate.”

“You're not supposed to feed a dog chocolate.”

“Tell her that! She loves the stuff. That's the only way I can get her to take her vitamin.”

He was dressed and he got into his jewelry box and put on a ring and a bracelet.”

“You don't have a watch?”

“I can't wear them. They stop working.”

“Ok, I'll have to see about getting you one that will stay working.”

“No, I have a clock in my car and when I'm home, I don't want to know what time it is.”

“I understand. I was that way in prison. It seemed like everytime I looked at a clock it said 12:12. My saying was one two one two...time marches on.”

“It seems like everytime I look at one it says 12:34.”

“Interesting, isnt' it.”

“Yeah...well, we better get out of here if we're going to want to beat the crowd.”

“Ok Do I still get to sit on your bike?”

“Yeah...you're like a kid.”

“No, I just want to know if it will fit me.”

“Ok, when you get one, I'll go with you. That way the guy won't give you a hard time. He's a life long friend and he can be a real horse's ass.”

“Ok, well I'll have to turn on the charm.”

“Ok if you think it will work.”

“Yeah, he'll wonder how you ever met up with someone so cool.”

'

“You're crazy.”

“It helps.”

He laughed and said, “Let me get out my night bag and then I can put everything in it.”

“You might pack some shampoo, soap, and deodorant, because I don't know what I have. I've got to find a store sometime and go shopping.”

“OK, we'll look and make a list.”

He packed the bag and went into the bathroom. He opened a linen closet and threw in a new bottle of shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a new stick of Mennen. We then went out into the kitchen and he opened the door to the garage. I saw the mothercycle and went over and sat upon it. It fit perfectly.

He smiled and said, “Well, I guess you can get one.”

I smiled and said, “This is nice.”

“Yeah, you'll love riding on it.”

I got off and opened the car door. He got in the driver's side and opened the garage door. He started the car and the vibration was evident in my butt.

He pulled out and hit the door. I said, “Did you see any buttons for the garage?”

“No, but they're probably there someplace.”

“We'll have to look for them. Come to think of it, did you notice if the garage was a three car or a two?”

“I think three. We'll check, I never really looked. Most of them out there are three since some people down the street need to mow. You don't though.”

“Yeah, but I bet we sure will have to prune a lot of that jungle back.”

“Yeah, but I know a guy that does a good job. If I move over there, can we plant some tropical plants so they'll show color?”

“I don't mind. It sounds nice.”

We got on the main highway and then caught the Interstate. We went North and I said, “Some day I want to go into Beufort. I've not been there since I was a kid.”

“It's not changed.”

“They had a stand down by the water that sold polish dogs with grilled onions. They were wonderful.”

“It's still there, we'll stop by there Thursday and take home some shrimp for mama.”

“Oh man, I'll have to take some home to mine too. My mom loves shrimp. I love them too, but mom could make a meal out of them.”

“I understand, mine's the same way.”

When we got to the crab shack, he said, “This place is really neat. You're going to get sloppy, so follow my lead.”

We went in and he ordered a five gallon bucket of crabs. I looked at him and said, “If I'm to follow your lead, there's no way I can eat five gallons.”

He smiled and said, “No, this is for both of us. Now over there is the beer, get us a two gallon bucket.”

“Two gallons?”

“Don't worry, most of it's head. By the time it settles, it's usually only about a gallon.”

“You thirsty?”

“Yeah, you don't like beer?”

“I'm driving!”

“Well, you can drink one.”

“Ok, but I'm driving. I'll make it a small one. Remember we're driving on up to Charleston for ice cream”

“Ok,”

As we went through the line, everyone was calling out to Steve and asking him where he'd been. He told them, “The Usual” and they all nodded. They then asked who I was and when I spoke, everyone of them said, “You're not from around here, are you?”

“No, from Missouri.”

“Oh, you sound Southern.”

I looked at Steve and he smiled. I was thinking Geography wasn't a strong suit in the schools here.

By the time I got my Chinet platter loaded, I had fried corn, baked beans, cole slaw, sweet potato pie, and a mound of hush puppies. At the end of the line, they threw on two pieces of Texas toasted bread.

We went over and sat down. He stood behind me and grabbe the table cloth and tucked it into my shirt like a bib.

“The amateurs use bibs. The locals use the table cloths. I want you to feel like you're at home.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

He poured me a beer and I said, “Steve, I can't drink all that. I'll be too drunk to drive.”

“Drink what you can and we'll feed the rest to the fish.”

“Ok”

“I began looking at the crabs and trying to figure out how to crack it open. He laughed and said, “On the side of the table is a mallet. Put it on the table and crack it.”

I did and everyone cheered. I laughed and he said, “You're now a crabbie.”

I laughed and began eating the crab. He pushed over a tub of butter and said, “There”

I looked at it and dabbed my bread in it. He laughed and said, “Watch this.”

He took out a big piece of crab meat and then dunked it into the butter. Then, he leaned his head back and threw the whole piece into his mouth. Juices went down his chin and he began chewing. When he was done, he looked messier than hell.

“Your turn.”

“You're a mess.”

“That's when you know it's good.”

I banged another crab and then got the big piece of meat out. I did as he did and then leaned back and threw it in my mouth. I could feel the juices and swallowed. Before I was done chewing, Steve was laughing.

“What!”

“You're a swallower.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Everyone here would see if you were, or not.”

“Ok, so do we run?”

He laughed and said, “No, but you probably made friends with half the guys here.”

“Oh, should I have spit?”

“No, either you're one or you're not.”

I looked at him and said, “Makes the sheets cleaner.”

He laughed and said, “Ok, at that I don't know, but here I let the juices run down my chin.”

I ate until I was stuffed. For every crab I ate, Steve ate four. I don't know where he put them all, but man, the guy could eat.

We only drank about half the beer and he went over to a table and gave them the rest of our beer. All of the crab shells were poured over a railing out into the water behind the shack. I saw a swirl of water and jumped back.

“Yeah, don't fall in here.”

“Son of a bitch!”

“I know a guy that got drunk and staggered out here. He went piss and there was one down there snapping at him. He thought it was funny and then turned and fell. It latched onto his shoe and now he's only got part of a foot.”

“Man!”

“Yeah, you ready to drive?”

“Yeah, now I know where the place is, but I don't know exactly where it is. There's a big market in a warehouse and it's there.”

“I know where we're going.”

“Ok, you like their ice cream?”

“Yeah, but it was a long time ago.”

“For me too. They had a Sundae I still remember.”

We hit evening traffic going into Charleston and I said, “Man, I don't remember this traffic.”

“Wasn't here until about ten years ago. Now, it's just crowded.”

“Well, I'll have to remember this because there's an architectural salvage place here I want to go to.”

“What's that?”

“When they tear down old buildings, they take doors, windows, and all that and resell them. I want to take the toilets in the bathrooms and make them the old kind.”

“Oh ok, that sounds neat.”

“Yeah, I saw the architectural salvage place on “This Old House”. They did a restoration on a house that was damaged by Hugo.”

“Oh, one of the big houses.”

“Yeah, Hugo tore the hell out of it, but they did a nice job on it.”

“Yeah, I like your place because they built it damned good. You probably don't know it, but your house will withstand a four.”

“Is that good?”

“Yeah. Real good.”

“I was thinking if a tidal surge came that it'd be down too low.”

“No, it's about seventeen feet and your basement windows are all designed to withstand the water. I remember because I had to be in front of the council that night when the plans for that one came up. There was quite a to do over it because it's the closest to the water. The architect came and he showed them how he'd used reinforced concrete and how the windows were designed. The man over designed the house so he could get all the others built.”

“Oh, so mine was the first?”

“Yeah, and I think yours is the nicest. Everyone else did the bare minimum to get past code, but the man who built yours really went way over code. If it ever gets hit, expect your house to be the only one standing and not many others.”

“Then my property value will go down.”

“No, then what I'd tell you to do is go to the other homeowners and buy their land and you'll have the whole place to yourself for not much money.”

“That's a thought.”

“Well, let's hope it doesn't happen because if it does, then that means the tax base of this whole area went into the crapper.”

“Just the same, I'm glad mine's built that good because I'm not planning on moving forever. I plan on doing some work to it and when I'm done, it'll be worth way more.”

“What you wanting to do?”

“The widows walk up there rather sucks. What I want to do is build a nice room up there so I can sit up there and look out forever and type my stories.”

“Ok, so you want an office up there.”

“Yes, and no. I want a nice relaxing place to sit with a cup of cappuccino and read the morning paper and then type stories until sunset. When you get home, then I'll come down, cook dinner, and then we can sit back and snuggle. I do know we'll need a bigger plasma than that because I've got to watch NASCAR.”

“You're a race fan, huh!”

“Well, yeah, but I'm more of an ass fan. I look at the racers asses.”

He laughed and said, “Ok, I know people who watch just for the wrecks, but I've never heard of one that does that.”

“When I was in prison, I used to watch WWF wrestling and turn down the volume and make up my own dialogue to it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, if you turn down the volume, you see their lips moving and they're grabbing each other, and if you put a bunch of sex talk in place of their words, you get a really erotic situation.”

He laughed and said, “It's so fake, I don't watch it, but maybe I could for that.”

“I rarely watch television. When I do, it's not good for me. When I write, it's good because it's like watching television but I get the feelings and emotions of the characters involved.”

“Oh, that'd be neat if they could do that on television.”

“Well, I had a dream once where I felt that. It was of a guy that came up the shopping center in town the wrong way in a 1959 Pontiac. It was turquoise. He got out and went over and grabbed a girl by her throat. I went out and put my hand upon him and when I did, everything she was feeling and he was feeling went into me. Then, Carrie from Perry came along and told me to let him be because if I allowed the bad to go into me, then I'd open the door for the bad...but if I shut him out, only the good would come in.”

“Who's Carrie from Perry?”

“This is strange, but my house there has five ghosts. You might not think it's true, but you'll be visited by Carrie the first night you sleep there. She's a little lady who is from Perry, Missour who died. Now, my house there is full of antiques I got at auction all over the place. I'm sure she came with one of the pieces of furniture, but she told me if I got an organ and put it on the one wall, she'd play it.”

“Did you?”

“No, but her favorite color was Pink. I mean everything at that auction was Pink. I know I bought lawn chairs there because they're pink. But, whenever she comes to me in a dream it's accompanied by organ music.”

“Ok, so what does she do?”

“She tells you the future.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, or she shows it to you in a dream so you can be prepared for it. She showed me I was going to move and I'd fall in love and it would be the deepest I've ever been.”

“Was it me?”

“It never showed who, but she definitely showed me the house, but what she showed me wasn't exactly my house. It didn't have all the jungle around it. The lawn was beautiful and had fountains.”

“Oh, maybe that was telling you the ideal version of the house.”

“Maybe, but it prepared me for the break up and had me looking at it positively so I could go forward.”

“You said your house had five ghosts, who're the others.”

“For me to tell you, I have to explain the way the house was built. It's an old house and the original part of it was built in 1896. The first part of it were the first three rooms. Then, they added the second story on and the halls. That was around the 1920's. Then in the 1940's, they added the kitchen addition on and there are four more rooms there.

“SO how many rooms altogether?”

“eleven plus three huge rooms in the basement.”

“Nice sized house.”

“Huge for one person, but I've got the place packed to the gills with antiques.”

“Man.”

“Yeah, but nothing cost more than $230. All of it was bought at auctions.”

“Oh man, you got steals.”

“Yeah, my Gone With The Wind lamps were from the set of Gone With The Wind. I bought them out in Los Angeles at the MGM auction.”

“Man, that a trip?”

“No, I was in San Diego visiting my cousin when I heard about the auction. I knew as much of a fan as my mom was of the movie if I didn't go back with something, I really better not go home, so I went up. What was ironic was there were two sound stages the auctions were being held in. What I mean by uncanny was the lamps were coming up and I was really worried about how much they'd go for as I didn't have much money, but about the time they came up, someone put word in our building the other building was selling Clark Gable stuff. Everyone vanished in a heartbeat and there were two other people and I there with the auctioneer. He sold a couple of things and then sold the lamps. I bit twenty five dollars and he asked me how many I wanted of them. I took a look and saw there were eight of them and I took them all. In one full swoop, I spent all my money I had.”

“But man, those are worth some money!”

“Yeah, and my mom now watches the movie on DVD and has her lamp right beside the television.”

“I bet she's happy with it.”

“Yeah, but it seems every time I go out there, they have an auction. The last one I went to, they had some really off the wall stuff, but over on one wall was a long sofa. I went over and saw it was from the movie Holiday Inn with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.”

“I don't remember that one.”

“Your mom probably does. It's the one Bing Crosby sang White Christmas. They changed the name of the movie sometime to White Christmas and re released it.”

“Ok, I remember now. It's the place with all the windows.”

“Yeah, it might seem strange, but when you watch it, you see the sofa and it's the one you're sitting on in my parlor to watch the movie.”

“Cool”

“I got it for a dollar.”

“You didn't!”

“Yeah, but I had to haul that thing home on the top of my Corvette, so it took a wind whipping.”

“Oh man!”

“Yeah, but the best deal I got was from down at Taos, New Mexico. I went into a place there...a used furniture place...and a woman was selling some furniture and just crying. She'd moved down from someplace in the northeast and had bought a condo sight unseen. She had this nine foot tall grandfather clock that had been in her family forever and the guy wanted to give her fifty bucks for it. The condo only had eight foot tall ceilings, so she couldn't stand it up. She refused to sell it to him, so I offered her two hundred and she sold it to me. I hauled that thing home in my BMW with the top down the whole way.”

“Jeez...thank goodness it didn't rain!”

“I would have stopped someplace and bought trash bags and worn them and put them on it and still not stopped smiling. The sound it makes though the whole house is awesome.”

“I can imagine.”

“You've got to come home with me sometime and see the house.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“I'm keeping it. It's bought and paid for and no one's going to ever take it away.”

“It sounds like you're attached to it.”

“Oh yeah, that house and I have been through some shit together.”

“Ok, you never finished telling me about the ghosts.”

“Oh, there's Mr Bridges. He's upstairs in the bathroom. If you leave the door open in that bathroom, He'll wait until you go into another room and then will slam that door HARD!”

“Why?”

“I don't know, but you'll have to try it. It never fails.”

“Ok, who're the others?”

“Ok, the story I got in the dream was this....before my house was built with the second story addition, there was a house that was delapidated and falling down. The people had been attacked by indians and burned out in their front yard. The indians were friendly to them for a long time and then, one day they came up and killed the whole family. The ghost of the woman and the two children are in the attic in those timbers that came from their house.”

“Man”

“Yeah, I went up there and a normal house has wood for rafters. These are huge. They're like a tree that's had the slabs taken off and they used the wood. They're like 8” x 16”.”

“Those would hold up a hell of a lot of weight”

“Yeah, but they're put together with post and beam construction for a hipped roof. The rest of the house is standard construction, but the basement stepps are from the same wood too. Since I've lived there, the pipes have froze and busted three times. Finally, we put in rubber hoses and if you know hoses, they're like strings. You have to take ends off in order to tie knots in them. Every hose in the basement has knots in them and I know we didn't do that.”

“Wow.”

“So they can't break the hoses, so they tried to tie them in knots.”

“Yeah, but they're not normal hoses. They're heavy pressure hydraulic hose which means if the water freezes in them they're not going to break because there's nylon reinforcement in them. Now, you want to know what's strangest about this?”

“What?”

“In my basement, at the bottom of the steps is a thermostat for the furnace set on sixty degrees. It works like a charm, but it gets shut off and the only way to do that is to stick your finger in and flip the lever. It's not something you can just walk by and rub up against and mess with. It has to be deliberately set. I don't mess with the thing because I have this fear a spider is going to be in there and I'll get bit, so explain how it gets shut off unless it was the kids in the wood from that house.”

“So, they're playing games with you.”

“Yeah. I don't mind, but it's the two hundred dollar water bills I mind...and the replacement of the pipes.”

“What sort of pipes were they?”

“At first, it was galvanized which I can understand them breaking. So, we went to plastic. They broke again. Then we went to copper and they split again. Now, we're with the hoses and you know what happened there.”

“They don't talk to you at all.”

“No, the only time they've talked to me was in that dream to tell me they were there and who they were.”

“Interesting”

“Yeah, but Carrie was the one that brought them to me to introduce them to me.”

“Oh ok, so you've seen her several times.”

“No, I've seen her so much it's like she's an old friend.”

“You said you know she'll visit me, how do you know that?”

“When Kevin moved in, I didn't tell him about her. I wanted to know if he'd notice anything strange. He didn't believe in ghosts, so I wasn't going to tell him all I knew. Then, we went to bed in the pink bedroom and the next morning, he said, “I had a visitor of a friend of yours last night. We smoked a joint together in my dream. She's a cool old lady, but she's upset you never told me about her.”

I looked at him and I said, “Tell me about her and he told me everything down to the organ music.”

“Wow!”

“Yeah, so then for giggles one night, I had my mom stay over and I put her in the pink bedroom. Now, I'd told her about Carrie, but I don't think she completely believed even though she believes in ghosts. The next morning, we were sitting drinking coffee and she said, “Carrie came and visited me last night. She told me about your grandma dying.”

“And did she die?”

“Yeah about two years later, but it was exactly as mom had been told. I think she told mom so she'd have that long to prepare herself mentally for it to happen.”

“Oh, well that was good.”

“Yeah, but I'm interested in knowing if she comes to you and tells you you're the guy I was told about.”

“What do you think?”

“I know I like you and unless there are hidden demons, you're someone I could live with happily. I mean, you're nice, you're awesome looking, you've got family support of you being gay, and you're not shy about meeting my family, so what else could I want?”

“Love”

“You can't love me?”

“I didn't say that. What I mean is I'll have to be distant with you in public until I'm out of office.”

“And then you'll be with me publicly?”

“Yes. I promise.”

“And what if you can't keep your promise?”

“What do you mean?”

“You're young enough you could run for Congress or for Governor, and if you do as a Republican, then I'm ass out, right?”

“You really doubt things people tell you, don't you?”

“Yeah, but I'm a realist. I know this and you can shoot me for saying this, but you just got elected, right?”

“Yeah”

“So, you're not running again.”

“No, I'm done with that.”

“Ok, so can you get thrown out of office?”

“Not unless I really screw up.”

“Ok, so what's the problem with letting us out of the closet?”

“Ummm, well, I could, but the guys might not appreciate that.”

“Ok, so it's a peer pressure thing. I'm understanding it more.”

“You just said that like I disappointed you.”

“Yeah, that's what I'm thinking because it tells me that no matter what, you're going to be thinking about what someone else thinks of you that isn't sharing your life and warming your bed. I'm sorry, but the last moment I cared what someone else thought of me was when I was standing in front of the judge being sentenced. It was at that moment I knew I'd screwed up enough in my life that no one would think anything worse of me. SO, from then on out, I was my own person. I'll tell you now that I don't see that working for me.”

“So we can't have a relationship.”

“Yeah, as friends but nothing more because I'm not going to get emotionally involved with someone that can be in my bed one moment and then be at the country club denying there's anything between us. Maybe you should think about how that'd feel to you if I did it.”

“If I knew it was a part of your job, I'd do it.”

“So you're telling me if you're gay, the Sheriff's association will get you out of office.”

“No, no one can take me out unless I screw up.”

“Ok, so it's you that's putting that between us.”

“Listen, we're not even together yet and you've got us splitting up. I don't like that.”

“Well, the way I see it, I've got to retract my offer and only offer friendship. I'll find someone else to date that's going to be able to give me a full emotional bond. I'm not going to wait four years or however long it is and then be told to wait another twelve for you to get out of office only to be told you're going to be Governor and you'll see me next life because we're too fucking old.”

“Oh man, so you see me as moving the barriers.”

“I'm seeing that as prison game is what I'm seeing it as. Prison game is when someone gets you to move and like a carrot in front of the mule, it follows right along.”

“I'm not gaming you.”

“I'm not either. I'm being up front and honest about my feelings here. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, and now, I've got to let them down.”

He looked at me and said, “This really matters to you, doesn't it?”

“Yeah, it does. I mean, look at it this way, how would you feel if your mom and your dad were out in public and she slipped off his wedding ring because her friends thought he wasn't the guy for her. Would she do it? Or, would she tell her friends to get fucked on what they thought?”

“That's different, they're straight.”

“No, it's not. It's love. People are above that shit. If they can't deal, then that's their problem. You're making it yours. I'm sorry, but you're not going to change their minds conforming to what they want you to be. The only way they'll know you are you is if you tell them what you are and they know who you are and can either accept you or reject you.”

We pulled in to the ice cream parlor parking lot and I said, “Ok, we're here. Let's go in and enjoy this as friends.”

“No”

“Well, ok, I'll be back and will wait on you if you decide to go someplace else.”

“I didn't mean that when I said, NO! I mean it that if I go in there, it's going to be as us building a relationship and I have to be with you in public.”

“Ok, then open the door.”

He looked at me and smiled and said, “No, I want a kiss.”

I looked at him and said, “Ok, then will you open the door?”

“You're not about gloating when you've won an argument, are you.”

“I wasn't arguing. We had differences of opinions and I told you mine. That's it.”

“Ok, give me the kiss and I'll go in.”

“Ok, but I'd much rather taste the chocolate on your breath than that beer.”

“Oh, you don't care for drinking do you.”

“No, it's not who I am to be a man.”

“Huh!”

“Some guys do it in public to say, “Oooh, look at me, I'm stud buddy joe, I'm he man cool”. Well, I'm not about that. If it takes a foreign stimulant for me to be something I'm either am or not, then fuck that. I can drink milk and be me.”

“Wow.”

“But, if you want to drink, then that's fine. I'm not knocking it. What I'm saying is I'll build this relationship with you doing it or not, but if it becomes a problem, then I'll shag ass.”

“Have you had someone with a drinking problem?”

“No, I came this close once to doing that, but fortunately he fell off a barstool and passed out.”

“Ok, I was worried there was some baggage there.”

“Nope, you'll not get baggage with me. I left it at the station. I'm adjusted enough I'll tell you what's going on with me so you know. We'll deal with things together.”

“That's fair.”

“Now give me that kiss because I've got a Sundae in there with my name on it and I've waited nearly twenty years for it.”

He reached over and kissed me. As we kissed, our tongues danced and somewhere within him, he let out a moan. Chills went through me and I moaned in return.”

He pulled back and said, “I've dreamt of doing that with someone, but man that's better than I imagined.”

“You've never kissed anyone!”

“No, I've jacked off with a buddy, but that's it. All the rest is fantasy.'

“Oh man, that means I get to train you to my specifications!”

He laughed and said, “Well knowing you've got good tastes, I'd say you've got me.”

Notes From Retta:

That's Chapter one. There are a lot more to go, but if you like the way it's started, you'll love the way the rest of the story goes.

The neat thing about this chapter is people who've read it say I've captured conversation with myself down perfectly. They say reading it is just like speaking with me. IF you like that, then you'd get along well with me. IF it drives you insane, then we'd probably get on each other's nerves. LOL.

“From My Keyboard To Your Heart”,

Retta

RettaMichaels@Gmail.com

Copyright Notice - Copyright © 2008 by RettaMichaels

The author, RettaMichaels copyrights this story and retains all rights. This work may not be edited, changed, or duplicated in any form, media [ known or unknown ], without the author's expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. RettaMichaels does NOT give editorial consent in order for this to be published. If it is deemed unpublishable in it's context, permission much be granted before publication or changes occur.

“From My Keyboard To Your Heart”,”'Retta”,“RettaMichaels”.“Retta”,“Rhett”, and “Rhette” are all trademarks of RettaVonnMichaels LLC. None of these trademarks may be used, or authorized without consent.

Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons, locations, or incidents is purely coincidental.