Brian & Pete: The Power Within

Chapter One

A New Life

“Nice hit, Kellam! That’s how it’s done gentlemen!” barked Coach Sarvino.

I offered my hand to Terry Green, the player I’d just tackled. At six one and one seventy-five, he was at the core of our receivers. Terry took my hand and pulled himself up.

“Nice shot, Brian,” he said with a pained smile. “Perfect timing.”

“Sorry, Terry,” I said through my mouth guard. “You hurt?”

“No. You just knocked the wind out of me for a second.”

We wandered back to our respective lines to await our next turn. I noticed Pete was the next wide-out up. A quick glance told me he was up against Will Beck, one of our best linebackers. I watched as Ed Lasko fired a bullet into Pete’s waiting arms. Pete turned up-field and was met immediately by Beck, who wrapped him up and dragged my boyfriend to the turf.

“Lasko! You throw your arm out and you’ll be on the bench tomorrow, and next weekend, too! Got it?”

The six-foot-two senior didn’t acknowledge the coach’s admonition. He wasn’t really a team player and had a terrible attitude. I didn’t care for him at all, and no one liked him— except for his cronies, who basked in his shadow.

Lasko’s crew included Todd Langley, a six-foot senior wide receiver, Lee Krogh, a five-ten senior running back, Jesus Garza, a five-eleven junior receiver, and Blake Scoggins, a five-ten, two-hundred-and-twenty-five pound senior tackle. None of the others weighed less than one hundred and eighty pounds. They were quite a formidable group on the field.

A few moments later, it was my turn again. Eddie was the quarterback and was throwing to Todd Langley. In spite of his four-inch height advantage, Todd and I were an even match. I lined up across from him and he gave me a contemptuous smile. I simply stared at him much as I had for every match-up between us. He didn’t intimidate me. Very few people did.

I heard the snap and backpedaled, keeping Langley in front of me until he made his move. He suddenly slanted in toward the center of the field, and I followed him closely. A glance back showed Eddie Lasko releasing the ball toward us. I put on a burst of speed and cut in front of Todd to neatly intercept the pass and start running back toward the line of scrimmage. I stopped after fifteen yards as was usual in these drills and was nailed from behind. Todd Langley drove me into the ground, causing my face mask to catch the turf and yank my chin to my chest. As he rose, he deliberately put his knee in the small of my back.

“What in the hell was that, Langley?” roared Coach Folds, the varsity head coach. “Take off — four laps right now! And no more of your bullshit, you understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” Todd answered sullenly with a venomous glare directed at me.

The boy moved off to start his punishment as I stood up. I trotted off the field and began digging clumps of turf out from between the bars of my face mask, listening to my body for signs of injury. Coach Folds strode toward me while I tried to clear the remaining dirt from my mask. Failing that, I removed my helmet just as the coach reached me.

“Are you okay, Kellam?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. I feel fine,” I answered as I managed to remove the last of the grass and soil.

“Are you sure? That was a vicious hit.”

“Yes, sir, I’m sure.”

I pulled my helmet back on, and as I walked toward the end of the drill line, the coach said, “Kellam, I want you to sit out the rest of the practice, just to be safe. Sometimes it takes a bit for things to show up.”

Clearly dejected, I acquiesced.

“Don’t worry, Kellam. You’re doing fine. You’ll be in there soon enough.”

“Thanks, coach,” I replied. Praise from Coach Folds was rare enough to be really appreciated when it came.

Pete looked over toward me with a question plainly on his face. I smiled and shook my head, indicating all was well. He nodded sharply and continued with the drill.

Practice ended about thirty minutes later. Pete and I walked to the locker room, accompanied by Terry Green and Will Beck. Will was a couple of inches taller than I was and weighed in at one sixty-five and played inside linebacker with me. The four of us had become friends over the past several weeks of football practice. We had spent some time together between practices before school had started because Will lived much closer to the field than we did. We would crash in his living room after eating lunch until it was time to go to the second of our daily double practices.

I happened to be on the left side of our group when Lasko and Langley walked by us. Langley threw a shoulder into me as he passed, knocking me slightly off balance, but I kept walking.

“That’s the second time he’s hit me from behind today,” I muttered to myself.

“What’s your problem, Langley?” yelled Terry. “You’ve been dogging Kellam for a month now.”

“Terry, it’s not worth it,” I said softly. “Let it go.”

“I don’t have a problem, Green, but I can make one if you really want me to,” Todd responded with a leer and a clear threat.

“What? You going to hit me from the back, too? You too afraid to meet anyone head on?”

Todd Langley stopped and faced off with Terry Green. The slight height difference was noticeable as they stood toe-to-toe, and Terry took full advantage of it, looking down his nose at Todd.

“Unless you two ladies are going to kiss, back off,” came a gruff voice from behind.

Neither guy moved.

“I mean it.  Back off – now!” snapped Coach Folds.

“See you around, Green,” Todd sneered.

“You better hope not,” Terry grated.

Todd took a couple steps backward before turning toward the locker room. My friend relaxed after some space had been put between us and Todd.

“That kid is going to get you in trouble, Green,” the head coach commented. “You’re better than that.”

“Yeah, coach, but I’m not going to back down.”

“You know what happens if you get in a fight,” the coach added as he walked away.

“We know,” we all chorused, earning a lingering over-the-shoulder gaze from the man.  None of us wanted to be kicked off the team.

We arrived at the locker room and removed our cleats before entering.  As we undressed for our showers, I saw Jesus Garza pull the towel from around a freshman player’s waist and snap him with it.  The boy, Vincent Davis, jerked away from the towel as Jesus snapped him again, laughing at the smaller player’s obvious embarrassment.

Another larger youth slapped Jesus on the back of the head and spoke to him loudly  and harshly in Spanish.  Tomas was Jesus’ older brother, a senior linebacker. Guiltily, Jesus handed the towel back to Vincent and said something in a low voice.  The freshman swallowed, his gaze shifting from the younger brother to the older, and then went about getting dried and dressed.  Tomas said some more sharp words to Jesus, who replied in kind.  The glare the older boy gave his sibling was intense and promised retribution.  I shook my head in disgust and walked out to the showers to get clean.

“Kellam, you think you’ll start tomorrow?” Terry called to me from across the showers.

“I don’t know,” I answered.  “There’s Tomas and Langley, then Will and Krogh.  I’ll get some time, though.”

“Time, hell,” laughed Tomas who had just walked in.  “Face it, Kellam, you’re the best defensive back in the junior class.”

I shook my head.  “I don’t know about that.  Will is pretty good. So is Krogh.”

Beck said, “You got me beat out, Brian.  I’m not as fast as you are, and I don’t hit as hard.”

“And Krogh isn’t even in the same league,” finished Terry.  “Yeah, you’ll start.”

“If I do, I do.  It doesn’t matter.  I get to play.”

“Who do you think coach’ll start in the pocket?” Pete asked from beside me.

“I would say Lasko,” Tomas said after a moment’s thought, “but he and Folds just got into it again. It might be Sterling Beckett.”

“The sophomore?” inquired Will.  “Isn’t there someone else?”

“Nope,” stated Tomas.  “I could call the signals, but I’m much better catching the ball than throwing it.  Sterling is the best choice after Eddie.”

“We’ll see tomorrow, won’t we?” Terry asked rhetorically.

“Yeah,” I replied.  “The JV plays at ten, right?”

“That’s right, Kellam,” Coach Sarvino said as he walked up to the shower entrance.  “I want you here at eight and suited up for that game.  We may need you to carry the ball for us.”

I cast a surprised glance at Terry and Tomas, both of whom grinned.

“Yes, sir.”

“Finish up, men,” Sarvino said.  “I want to lock the doors.”

Pete drove us to the farmhouse where my family lived.  We had established a tradition between the Kellams and the Pattersons.  On Friday nights, both families gathered together and had dinner.

Ray and Kevin were sitting in the family room watching a baseball game with my dad and Jason’s boyfriend, David, when we walked in, while my mom and Jason worked in the kitchen.  The smell of Italian food was almost overwhelming and my mouth watered the instant it hit my nose.

“Get washed up, boys,” my mother said as soon as she saw us.  “Dinner is just about ready.”

“Yeah,” my sister Dawn added.  “I even helped!”

With a smirk, I replied, “I’m not hungry.”

Dawn rolled her eyes heavenward.  “Yeah, right.  Since when?”

“Since you said you helped cook,” I shot back with a grin.

She stuck her tongue out at me and then returned my smile.  The relationship between my sister and me had improved significantly since she and my mother had moved to the Portland area to join my father.  Pete and I had returned from our trip into California and Arizona about three weeks after they had moved in.

I believe what had surprised my family the most was that the Brian who returned from our summer trip was not the same person who had left.  A number of events that had happened to Pete and me during the month-long vacation had significantly changed me and how I viewed myself and the world.  The traumatic events of the past that had shaped my life for nearly four years no longer dictated how I lived from day to day.  Those memories, while still painful, were no longer clouding my judgment when I made the choices that directed the path I would take.

“Hurry up, Brian.  I’m putting supper on the table now,” my mom reminded us.

Pete and I walked to our room at the foot of the stairs leading to the second floor of the farmhouse, and dropped off our books.  Pete took the time to steal a quick kiss before we went to the dining room to join the rest of the family.  As soon as we were seated, the feeding frenzy began.  With six teen-agers at the table, the quantity of food on the serving dishes diminished quickly. 

Conversation surrounding the next day’s football games began when my dad asked, “What time is the game tomorrow?”

“The varsity starts at three.  The JV starts at ten,” I informed him.  “Coach Sarvino wants me to dress down with the JV and maybe do some running for them.”

“You?  A running back?” asked Kevin.

“Sure.  Why not?” David asked rhetorically.  “He’s not the biggest guy, but he’s strong as hell.”  My mom cleared her throat and David apologized.  “Sorry Mrs. Kellam.  Seriously though, I think Brian would do well as a back.”

My father asked, “How do you feel about it, son?”

I shrugged as I swallowed the bite I was working on.  “It should be fun.  Coach Folds had me learn the calls for halfback and had me practice some at that position before school started, so I think I’ll do okay if they put me in.”

“You know they will, Bri,” Pete interjected.  “Sarvino wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t plan to play you.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, “but I hope he doesn’t tire me out for the varsity game.  That one I’m looking forward to.”

Soon, the conversation around the table turned from football games to other things.

“I got some good news today,” my dad said between bites.  “My boss is promoting me.”

A general chorus of congratulations circled the table.

“Thanks, but there’s a catch.  I have to go to training in Florida.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad, Ben,” Kevin said in an offhand manner.

“For six months.”

The room came to a stop as my dad’s words sank in.

“Royce, my boss, is getting promoted to regional vice president,” my dad began again.  “He said that I’m ready to take over for him.  Corporate policy is that all general managers attend this six-month training at corporate headquarters in Miami.”

“You’ll be gone until the end of March?” I asked through an oddly tight throat.

“As it stands now, yes.”

I looked at Pete, seeing sympathy in his expression.  My boyfriend squeezed my hand in support.  He knew that my father and I had grown very close in the time he had been in Portland.  I swallowed hard, my meal suddenly becoming unappetizing.  I laid my fork on my plate and stared at the food there.  A guilty feeling was creeping into my gut.  I had already stolen three years worth of precious time from my relationship with my family, and now we were being forced to lose another six months by circumstances out of our control.

“Brian, it won’t be that bad,” my father said, reading my expression.  “I’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s, and I’ll be calling all the time.”  When I didn’t respond, he quietly said, “Brian, son, I have to do this for all of us.”

“I know,” I replied softly.  “When do you go?”

“Next Sunday.  We still have a week.”

I nodded, but did not continue eating.

“Daddy?” Dawn said with a tremor in her voice, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Dad looked at her with a sad smile.  “I don’t want to leave, sweetheart, but I have to.  I’ll make it up to you when I come back, I promise.”

Kevin cleared his throat and said, “Pete, the architects delivered the house plans to my office today.”

“Sweet!” Pete exclaimed.

Kevin had been informed by the court adjudicating his divorce from his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Sharon, that the family home would have to be sold.  Upon hearing this, Pete, his lawyer, and Kevin had put together a plan to have another house built on the property the farmhouse my family lived in stood.  Kevin and Ray were scheduled to move into the farmhouse on a temporary basis on the tenth of September, a few days before my dad’s departure to Florida.  They would move into the new house when it was completed the following Spring.

“You can take a look at them after dinner.  They really are quite good, Pete.  You did a good job of laying things out.  The house is a bit huge for how few of us will be living there, however,” Kevin commented acerbically.

“But you never know when you’ll need the room,” Pete said cheerfully.

“I know, son, but six bedrooms and an office and a den isn’t going just a little bit overboard?” Kevin asked, holding his index finger and thumb a fraction of an inch apart.

“I may retire to that house,” Pete said flippantly with a grin.  “I want my children and grandchildren to have plenty of room.”

Pete then caught my mom’s eye and realized she was supremely surprised by his statement.

“What?” he asked.  “Does it surprise you that Brian and I want to have kids someday?”

“It surprises me,” I interjected to a good laugh all around.

“Who knows, Dad?” Jason said.  “You might meet someone.  She might have children of her own.”

“What makes you think I want to put up with more kids?” Kevin asked his son with mock belligerence.

“Oh, come on.  You know you love us,” Ray remarked.

Kevin deadpanned, “Not that much.”

“Yeah? Well f-, uh, you too, buddy,” Ray blurted after shooting a glance at my mom, obviously censoring himself.

Laughter erupted again, breaking some of the tension that had built in the room.

After a summer of intensive treatment for depression, Ray seemed to be much better than he ever had been in the time I had known him, but his characteristic caustic manner was unchanged.  In any case, his long battle to be legally separated from his biological parents had been won, and Kevin had officially adopted him, making him my brother-in-law of sorts.  Pete was legally his adoptive brother, having been adopted by Kevin and Sharon shortly after Pete’s grandparents had died and Pete had won his emancipation from his biological mother.

“What about the suit Joe filed?” my boyfriend asked Kevin.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin said firmly.  “Your father…

“He’s not my father, Kevin,” Pete interrupted in a stony tone.  “You are.”

I reached out and squeezed my boyfriend’s hand in a gesture of support and comfort.

Kevin’s face softened with empathy.  “I’m sorry, son.  I’ll try to remember to call him Joe.”

“I have a better name for him,” Ray quipped, “but I can’t say it in mixed company.”

“And we appreciate that, Raymond,” my mother said in a saccharine tone with an overly-sweet smile.  Pete’s dour demeanor turned cheerful once more.

“As I was saying,” Kevin continued with an unconvincing glare toward Ray’s general direction, “he doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on after your mom lost custody.  He was served, he knew when to be there, but he didn’t show, so the judgment was made in absentia.  We have the papers that prove it, but the court has to officially take notice of them for this new claim.”

Pete nodded slowly, chewing thoughtfully for a moment before shaking himself free of his ruminations.

“How are classes going, David?” Pete asked, drawing the quiet young man into the conversation.

“Okay.  The only class that may be a challenge is calculus.”

“I can help you with that,” Jason said.

“I know, but you’re already taking fifteen units.”

“I have enough time to help you.  We’re in the same room; it’s not like I’m a mile away or something.”

“How about you, Jason?” Kevin inquired.

“Okay.  I think my English instructor needs a caffeine IV, though.  He’s so boring.  Just about everybody in the section is getting half their sleep in his class.”

Kevin laughed.  “I remember those kinds of classes.  And you’re right.  I think I did get half of my sleep in them.”

“I hope my instructors are better than that,” my dad commented.  “If they aren’t, I’ll have to take my training standing up.”

The mention of my father’s impending departure caused everyone to pause.  Dawn’s eyes watered up, but she gave me a wan smile when she noticed me watching her.  My mom was obviously distressed. The thought of losing her husband for another six months, after having just been reunited after eight months of separation, was not sitting well with her.

The meal concluded in relative silence.  As we cleared the table, Mom and Dad spoke in hushed tones with their heads close together.

Realizing that neither of them had really come to terms with my father’s leaving, I quietly suggested, “Why don’t you guys go on upstairs.  We can handle this.”

They cast a surprised glance in my direction, and then my mom said, “Thank you, honey,” as she led my father toward the stairs.

When they were out of earshot, David commented, “That was really cool, Brian.”

I shrugged and continued clearing dishes.

“They need to talk, and it’s not like clearing the table is a big deal with this many people helping.”

“It was still nice of you to offer that to them, kiddo,” Kevin interjected.  “The time while your dad is gone is going to be pretty hard on her.  And on you and your sister.”

“We’ll make do,” I answered as I carried an armload of plates and silverware into the kitchen.

Kevin followed me with his own load of dishes.  “You’re going to have to pick up some of the slack, you know.”

“Yeah, I know, but we’ll have help, with you, Ray, and Pete being here.  At least until your house is built.”

“That’s what you think,” muttered Ray from behind me.

“You could always sleep in the barn,” I said without turning, and set the dishes on the counter.  “You look and smell like an animal, so you would fit right in.”

“Fuck you, Kellam,” he shot back.  “I’ve heard the mating calls you make.  You belong out there with your own kind, not me.”

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him for five or ten seconds before he cracked up.  I chuckled with him.

“You win that one, Branton,” I allowed, “but you better not let my mom hear you swear like that.  I was kidding about sleeping in the barn.”

“I believe you. Your mom can be a real bitch sometimes.”

I responded, “Yeah, and you’re an asshole all of the time, bitch!”

“Cocksucker!”

“Your point? Besides the top of your head, I mean?”

“Fag.”

“Aren’t we all?” David asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Not me,” Kevin said, following closely behind David.  “That’s enough of that kind of talk.  Your sister is in the living room, Brian, or did you forget that?”

“No, I didn’t forget,” I replied calmly.  “She can hold her own just fine.”

Kevin pressed the issue, “She’s only twelve, Brian.”

“So?  You didn’t know her when we were kids, before Pete was taken away.  Not a day went by where she didn’t call me something.”

“When you were kids?  What are you now?  And besides, that’s not the point, Brian, and you know it!”

Kevin was becoming quite agitated at my apparent intransigence.  Just as he was about to launch into a lecture, I stopped him.

“She’s only three years younger.  Kids her age swear all the time.  I know I did. Pete did.”

“I did, too,” David inserted.

“See?”

Kevin’s eyes darted from mine to David’s and back.  He then shook his head and walked away, muttering.  David and I exchanged grins.

“What’d I miss?” Pete asked, carrying the last of the dishes from the table.

As he placed them on the counter, I informed him, “Kevin was talking about cussing in front of Dawn, then he walked out talking to himself.”

Pete cocked his head to the side.  “Okay…”

“That’s it.”

“I’m confused,” my boyfriend stated.

“I know, and it’s one of the things I love about you,” I said sweetly.  I stood up on my toes to give him a peck on the lips, but Pete leaned away for a moment before consenting with a smile.

Mom and Dad came back down around eight that evening.  Neither appeared happy, but it seemed they had made some peace with the near future.  They passed through the dining room where Pete and I were working on the homework assignments for the day.  With the exception of my writing class, Pete’s introduction-to-law class, and the fact he was taking a trigonometry class and I was taking pre-calculus, our course load was the same.  Even though most of the work was review, I was relieved to find that the material was coming back to mind easily.  I looked ahead in the math book and realized that I could skip the first chapter completely.

Before Mom and Dad left the room, I asked, “Is everything okay?”

Mom smiled.  “We’ll do the best we can, honey, just like we always have.”  Her smile faded as memories of the past intruded.

“Over and done with, mom,” I softly stated.

“Not always, Brian.  Sometimes when I think about what we…”

“Mom, stop,” I quietly demanded.  “I mean it.  I’ve made my peace with it.”

“I’ll never forgive myself, Brian.  How could we have done that to you?  To both of you?”

The discussion was rapidly degrading into an emotional tempest.  It was a conversation we needed to have, but the timing was atrocious.

“Mom, Dad, let’s go out on the porch, okay?”

When they nodded, I took Pete’s hand and led him out the front door and to the deck chairs just outside.  Pete and I pulled the single chairs together and sat opposite my parents, who had taken the loveseat.  I took my boyfriend’s hand in mine as I began.

“Mom, I told you about what Mr. Hundser said, right?”  She nodded and I continued, “He was right.  The past was nothing more than an anchor holding me back.  I don’t know why it took me so long to see it that way, but it doesn’t matter.  I let it go, and right now  I’m happy.  Maybe I didn’t say this when we talked about it before, or maybe I did and you didn’t hear me for whatever reason.

“I forgive you, mom.  If you forgive me, I forgive you.”

My mother reached across the small gap between us and took my hand in hers and squeezed.

“I love you so much, Brian,” she said, “and you too, Pete.  I don’t want to make another mistake.  We’ve lost too much time as it is…”

“And dwelling on it won’t change anything, Lisa,” Dad inserted.  “Brian’s right.  We can’t dwell.”

“I’m trying,” she said softly.

“I know you are, mom.”

“We both know,” Pete added, “and that makes a difference.”

My mother embraced me tightly for a moment, and then did the same to Pete.  After she was done, she was smiling.

“Thank you, boys.”

“Sure, Mom.”

Pete rose, pulling me up with him.  Mom and Dad stayed seated.

“We’re going to stay out here for a while,” my dad said. 

Copyright Notice - Copyright ©2004 by Dewey.

This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise without the authors expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply.