Life From A Distance

Life From A Distance

Ben

Chapter Twenty-Six

This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic, audio, or any other form known or unknown, without the author’s express written permission. All applicable copyright laws apply and will be enforced.

A light knock woke me sometime early the next morning. Startled awake, I jumped out of bed and fumbled around for my briefs. In my groggy state, I managed to trip over my shoes and fell to the floor with a crash, which woke Ian from his slumber and alerted whomever was outside the door that we were awake.

The door opened. I grabbed whatever I could to cover myself. Ed poked his head into the room.

“Are you okay, Ben?” Ian and his father chorused.

Trapped, I sat there and nodded with eyes wide.

Ed smiled with amusement and said, “Liz and I would like to talk to both of you. Please get dressed and come to the kitchen.”

The door closed softly. Ian poked his head over the side of the bed and saw me, leaning back against the nightstand with nothing on, covering my privates with a skimpy pair briefs I had hastily taken from the floor. He started chuckling as he rolled out of bed.

“Have a nice trip, Ben?” he asked with mirth.

“Ha- ha. Very funny,” I rejoined caustically as I scrambled to my feet.

“Hey, don’t be like that, Ben. It was funny,” Ian said, and he kissed my nose, draining me of my aggravation.

“What do you think they want?” I queried.

“I don’t know,” Ian replied, putting on his clothes. “Could be anything. Probably about the situation with your parents.”

“Oh,” I responded unenthusiastically.

“Come on,” he cajoled as he moved toward the door, “get your shorts on. Mom and dad are waiting for us.”

“Ian?”

He looked back at me. “Yeah?”

“I’m scared.”

He met my gaze, and his face reflecting concern.

“What are you scared of, Ben?” He asked quietly, moving to stand in front of me.

“Everything. My mom and dad splitting up; losing you like I did Mike…” My voice trailed off into nothingness and I dropped my eyes.

“You’re not going to lose me, Ben. Hey, look at me.” Ian squeezed my shoulder tightly until we locked eyes again. “You aren’t going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”

I nodded slightly as a sad smile crept its way into my expression.

“That’s better,” he said, squeezing my shoulder again. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I answered glumly. He started for the door, but I stopped him again by grabbing his arm.

“What, Ben?” He asked patiently.

“Nothing... I just…”

I reached out and pulled him to me. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly as I fought off the tears welling up in my eyes.

“Come on, Benji. Let’s go talk to mom and dad.”

I nodded and let him go so he could lead the way. In the kitchen, Ed and Liz were sitting next to each other, speaking to each other in quiet voices. When they saw us, they stopped talking and smiled at us. Warning bells sounded in my head.

“Get your coffee and sit down, boys,” Liz said, “then we’ll talk.”

We did as she suggested and then took chairs opposite the adults. My gut was still telling me that something was not right.

“We’ve noticed that the two of you seem to be very close,” Ed began. “It wasn’t until last night that we knew just how close you really are.”

Ian and I exchanged glances. He graced me with a small smile and then we turned back to his parents.

“Last night, I wanted to talk to you some more, Ben, about the situation with your parents. I, er, accidentally walked in on you and Ian.”

I felt my hands grow cold and the blood drain from my face. A deep sense of panic made its way from the pit of my stomach and lodged in my throat. Breathing became difficult.

“Ben, honey, we’re not angry,” Liz said gently. “We do have a few questions, however.”

She asked, “Ian, are you attracted to other boys, girls or both?”

Ian replied without hesitation, “I like boys, mostly.”

I stared at the person sitting next to me. He’d just admitted to his parents that he was gay! Without a doubt, I knew they would be asking me the same question, and the thought of telling them the truth frightened me. I knew they would be accepting, but still I didn’t want to tell anyone at all, much less these people who played such a powerful role in my life.

“What about you, Ben?” Liz asked with a smile.

I stared at her, and then shifted my eyes to Ed, who wore a kindly expression which did nothing to calm my emotions in the slightest.

“Honey, it’s okay,” she cooed. “What you say here stays here. It’s just us and you and Ian. Murray doesn’t need to know, and won’t unless you tell him.”

Ian reached over and took my hand in his. My initial impulse was to pull my hand away, but Ian had a firm grip.

“Lad, I know why you’re scared,” Ed said, “and you don’t have to be. We love you now, and we’ll love you whether you like boys, girls, or both. That isn’t what’s important. What is important is that you know you and Ian are safe here.

“Ben, do you love my son?”

I nodded slowly.

“It’s truly all right, Ben,” Ed added softly. “We are very happy for both of you. What I saw last night- we accept it- and will allow it- as long as neither of you forces the other to do something that you aren’t ready and willing to do, and as long as you are discreet. If you need anything, ask, and I will help you as best I can. What you tell Murray is up to you.”

“He already knows,” Ian said, and then hr turned to me and continued, “He figured it out on his own. He asked me about it last night, and I told him.”

I blinked.

“Ben…”

I sighed, partially in relief and partially in resignation.

“Ben, please tell me you’re okay with this,” Ian requested, his tone serious and worried.

“I… I’m…”

“Please, Ben!” He begged. “I’m sorry if I hurt you!”

“You didn’t hurt me. I’m just… trying to absorb it all. I never thought I would be telling anyone other than you that I’m… I’m….”

“Gay?” Ed supplied.

“Gay,” I agreed, still completely stunned. “I’m gay.”

I stared at the table with those two words ricocheting through my brain. When Mike and I were kids, when we’d started growing into men, we’d thought we might be gay or bisexual, but now I knew it for a certainty. Using the word “gay” in reference to myself was shocking.

“What am I gonna tell mom and dad?” I asked no one in particular.

“You don’t have to tell them anything, Ben,” Liz said. “It’s up to the two of you what to tell them, and when.”

“I don’t know how they’ll take it,” I informed them. “It’s never even come up, not even talking about anybody or anything else. Mom and dad don’t- didn’t- talk about sex at all.”

“One thing I want you to keep in mind, boys, is that you’re young yet, and your feelings may change.” Ian cast me a stricken, panicked glance as his father continued, “Maybe feelings is a poor choice of words. Let’s say attractions instead. You may both be gay, or either of you could be bisexual, or even straight. Your feelings, the love you have for each other, won’t change unless something happens to destroy your friendship.”

Ed stopped talking for a moment, frowned, and then said, “That’s neither here nor there. My point is that being gay, bi, or straight doesn’t define who you are as a person. It’s a part of you, yes, but your sexuality is not the sum of who you are. Am I making any sense?”

“Um, not really,” Ian answered sheepishly.

“I see. Let’s put it another way. If Ben was straight, would you love him any less? Or Ben, if Ian was straight would you love him less?”

“No,” we said at the same time.

I added, “He’s still my friend. So what if he liked girls.”

“That’s my point, lad,” Dadtwo said. “It’s just a small part of who you are.” Ed sighed as he sat back, running his fingers through his hair. “However, there are people who don’t see it that way, so you must be careful.”

“We know, dad,” Ian said. “We act normal most of the time. It’s just when we’re alone.”

“I know you do, otherwise we would have had this conversation a long time ago,” Ed said with a smile.

Momtwo said, “We really are happy for both of you. We want you to know that it is okay for you to show you affection here, if you feel comfortable.”

“Thanks, mom. Thanks, dad.”

Ian’s smile was blinding. His hand tightened on mine, and when I looked at him, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I saw Ed and Liz smile at us out of the corner of my eye. A voice from behind startled me, causing me to jump.

“Well, it’s about time,” Rayray commented smugly from behind us, a grin plastered across his face.