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The door opened again shortly after my father left. I knew it was only a matter of time before she came in based on the way the conversation with my father had ended. I didn’t look at her, but continued staring off into space, seeing nothing. She observed me for a moment and then sat down in the place my father had just vacated. A few more moments passed before she spoke.
“Ben, your dad told you the truth.”
“Prove it!” I snapped, whipping my head around to glare at her. “All I get is it isn’t about me. What is it about then? Huh?”
“Benjamin Michael Foster, you will not take that tone with me. Do you hear me?”
I petulantly replied, “I’m not deaf.”
“How would you like to spend the rest of today and tomorrow cleaning the garage and your room?” She asked pointedly.
I narrowed my eyes and turned away from her.
“This isn’t about you or what happened with Mike. This is about my relationship with your father.”
“Dad said that, and then told me it wasn’t any of my business,” I informed her in a low, cold voice. “If that’s the case, then why does my name come up all the time?”
My mother stared at me, her expression uncertain.
“Ben, please understand that our discussions…”
I snorted derisively, to my mother’s annoyance.
“… our discussions center around how your father and I live together and everything that is involved in that. You are a part of our lives- the best part- so you are a part of the discussion, but that is it. No one is blaming you for anything.”
“It feels like it,” I informed her glumly.
“We certainly don’t mean for you to feel that way, honey,” she responded, her tone conciliatory.
“So how am I supposed to feel?” I asked after a brief silence.
“One thing you must understand, son, is that we love you very much.”
“Do you love each other?” I asked suddenly, catching my mother by surprise.
She spluttered for a moment before taking a deep breath. She didn’t speak for a short time afterward, and when she did, her tone was even and measured.
“Sometimes, when two people have been married a long time, they forget what it is that brought them together. There are things that adults have to do and deal with that you’re too young to understand.”
“Mom, come on: I’m thirteen!” I protested. “I’m not a little kid anymore, and I’m not stupid!”
“Benjamin, watch your tone! I am well aware of how old you are and that you are growing up, but you are still a child, and it’s our job as parents to protect you from things you are not ready to understand.”
“How do you know I’m not ready?” I demanded. “Are you waiting for me to find out about sex? I knew about that three years ago!”
I closed my mouth before I could embarrass myself any more. Mom gazed at me, her expression displaying some amusement.
“I know, honey. I knew when you, Mike and Ian started asking Ed all those questions. Your father and I spoke to Ed and Liz about it before he began answering. It’s not the physical act that is the issue anyway. There is a lot more that goes into an intimate relationship. The emotional connections are more important than anything else, and that is what your father and I are working on.” Her eyes sharpened a bit. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Jesus, mom! No!” I exclaimed, aghast at the suggestion.
“Oh. I thought you might,” she replied in an off-hand manner. “There’s plenty of time for that later on, though. Right now, you enjoy doing what interests you, playing with your friends, and being a boy. Don’t worry about your father and me. Everything will work out one way or another.”
It was my turn to give her the eye.
“Even if that means a divorce?”
Mom raised her eyes to meet mine. “It’s too early to know what will happen, but yes, a divorce is a possibility. Another is your father and me staying together. Time will tell.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I rasped through a suddenly tight throat, the last word no more than a squeak.
“I’m being honest with you, Ben. I won’t lie to you and tell you that everything is going to be perfect, because I don’t know.”
Seeing my bleak expression, her face softened.
“Come here, honey,” she requested, opening her arms.
After a moment of hesitation, I did as she asked. She wrapped me in a hug that lasted an uncomfortably long length of time. When she released me she had tears in her eyes. I looked away, embarrassed that I had made my mother cry.
A week later, Ian, Murray and I went camping in our back yard. After a meal of barbequed chicken and baked beans, mom set us up with junk food and soda before kicking us out. I’d run an extension cord from the garage for a work light we would use after it got too dark to see. Rayray had said he wanted to play Monopoly with us, so that’s what we did.
We had been playing for about three hours when we were all startled by someone shaking our tent. Ian and Ray jumped hard enough to knock my hotels off of St. James Place and New York Avenue. I heard a chuckle come from outside.
“Dad!”
The zippered door flap opened.
“How’s it going, boys?” My father asked with a smile.
“It was going fine until you made us dump the board!” I groused with a huff.
“You scared me, Mr. Foster!” Rayray added.
“Good!” Dad retorted cheerfully. “We’re going to go to bed now, boys.”
I replied, “Okay, dad. G’night.”
“Good night, son. Don’t let the coyotes or the cougar get you.”
“Dad!”
With a suppressed laugh, my father zipped the tent door again. I waited until I heard the back door shut before I spoke.
“I hate it when he does that!”
“Aw, Ben, he’s just having fun,” Ian remarked as he replaced all the houses and hotels that had been displaced. “It’s good to see him joking around with you. He said he was going to try, right?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said uncertainly. “I just wish he wouldn’t sneak up on me.”
“Well, no damage,” Ian responded.
“Not this time, but what if we were….”
I broke off abruptly.
“Were what?” Murray asked innocently.
“Doing something we weren’t supposed to,” Ian said, rescuing me. He shrugged. “If we want to do anything like that, we’ll have to find a place where he can’t sneak up on us.”
“To do what?” Rayray demanded. “Why won’t you guys tell me?”
“We don’t want to get you in trouble, bro. Besides, I don’t think you’d be interested,” Ian commented offhandedly as he handed his brother the dice. “It’s your turn, Ray.”
Murray sat there and pouted. “You never tell me anything. It’s not like I’m a little kid, and I know as much about sex as you two do. That’s it, isn’t it? You guys have some porn somewhere, don’t you?” Ray accused eagerly.
“Ray, there are some things that are private, y’know?” Ian tried to explain. “This is one of those things,” he added with an edge.
Rayray looked confused for a moment, and then graced us both with a huge smile. “Oh! I gotcha, bro.”
Murray rolled the dice, which came up a six, placing him squarely on North Carolina Avenue.
“That’ll be twelve-fifty, Rayray,” Ian said with an evil grin, washing his hands in front of him.
“Well, shit. Here you go.”
“‘And we thank you for your support,’” Ian said, quoting a commercial that was made before we were born. “Let’s see. That’s enough money for me to put hotels on the on the reds.”
While my boyfriend was digging out his new hotels, he stopped mid-motion and looked at me. I could do nothing more than stare back as we heard the unmistakable sound of my parents yelling at each other in their bedroom.