Life From A Distance

Life From A Distance

Ben

Chapter Nineteen

This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic, audio, or any other form known or unknown, without the author’s express written permission. All applicable copyright laws apply and will be enforced.

After a moment of panic, I came to the surface coughing and spluttering.

“Ben! Ben! Grab the tire!” A voice yelled with a desperate overtone.

I looked over toward the bank where I’d fallen from and saw my bike being extended into the water, the front tire no more than a dozen yards away. I swam toward it and found that the current in the canal was stronger than I expected, but not strong enough to prevent me from reaching the wheel.

“Hold on, Ben. We’ll get you out of there.”

The bike wheel moved closer to me but remained out of my grasp.

“Keep coming, Ben! You’ve almost got it!”

The encouragement spurred me on until the tire was in my hands. I was pulled to the edge of the canal but could not gain purchase enough on the slippery side walls to pull myself out. I looked up at my would-be rescuer.

“What are you doing here, Ian?”

“Looking for you!” My boyfriend announced.

“I can’t climb out. The sides are too slick,” I informed him.

“I can’t pull you out without your help, so I’m going to drag you to the rungs. They’re about fifty yards that way,” he said pointing up stream.

“Or I can drift downstream and catch the next set,” I suggested.

“Nuh uh,” he said in instant negation. “I’ve got you, and I’m not letting you go.”

He began to move toward the ladder in a half-crawl. The gravel on the edge of the canal four feet above me bit into his knees as he pulled me along.

“Don’t you fall in too, Ian.”

“Don’t do anything to pull me in and I won’t,” my boyfriend countered flippantly.

It took several minutes, but Ian got me to the escape ladder. I climbed out of the canal and Ian pulled me over the lip and onto terra firma. He collapsed backward as I fell forward next to him. The water in my clothing quickly turned the dust and dirt into a clinging mud that coated me front and back as I rolled over to stare up at the sky. The silence between us grew to an uncomfortable length before Ian spoke.

“Ben?”

“Hmm?”

“What were you doing?”

“Thinking.” I quickly added, “About Mike.”

“You weren’t thinking about….” His voice trailed off.

“About…”

“Jumping? About killing yourself?”

I looked at him, my brows furrowed in anger. Then I sat up and turned my back on him.

“No, I wasn’t thinking about killing myself! I promised both you and Mike that I wouldn’t!”

“Easy, Ben. I was just asking.”

“Well, fuck you for asking.”

After another long silence, Ian asked, “What happened, Ben? Your mom showed up and said you ran out of the house, but she wouldn’t say why.”

I didn’t respond, instead wrapping my arms around my knees and staring off into the distance.

“Ben, please. I’m on your side here.” Ian shuffled over and knelt near me. “Let me help you.” I felt his arm wrap around my filthy shoulders and I allowed him to pull me to him. “Please? Please tell me what happened.”

“Dad,” I said softly.

“Your dad did something?” Ian queried.

I nodded. “He blames me, Ian. He said so.”

My voice was flat and emotionless. Ian wrapped me in his arms and hugged me tightly as I sat there, cold and unfeeling, like my emotions had been turned off. I could feel Ian’s tears fall into my hair.

“Oh, Ben…”

How strange, I thought, Ian is hurt more by what happened than I am.

“Ben, let me take you home- to my place. You need to tell dad what happened.”

“I can’t go there, Ian,” I reminded him. “My dad will find me.”

“Well, if he’s there, then well find someplace to hide you until he leaves,” Ian reasoned. “If he’s not, then it’s okay, and we can tell my dad. This is important, Ben. If he’s going to hit you… I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt. Besides, your mom is having a fit. She doesn’t know if you’re even alive, Ben.”

I sighed. “Okay. I need to let her know. Let’s go.”

We stood and gathered my things and then rode our bikes back toward his house. To my intense relief, neither of my parents’ vehicles were parked in front. Nevertheless, Ian stashed my bike on the side of the house before leading me around the back. I waited, out of sight, until Momtwo came out of the sliding door followed closely by her elder son.

“Oh, Ben…”

I was unprepared for what the mere sight and sound of my boyfriend’s mother would do to me. The icy calmness that had enveloped me from the time Ian had pulled me out of the very canal that had claimed my brother’s life shattered. Tears flooded my eyes and my stomach cramped. It was all I could do to stand, locking my knees to keep myself upright. When she touched me I collapsed into her, my strength suddenly gone. Uncontrollable sobs burrowed from their burial plot deep in my soul to the surface, leaving me bereft of conscious thought. My gut contracted in a powerful heave, emptying my stomach on the law while the woman held me tightly. I grew hoarse as my cries joined the convulsions that wracked my body. A second body pressed in from behind, encasing me in a protective cocoon of warmth and love.

As I wound down, I heard a voice in the back of my mind say, I love you, Benji.

“I love you, too.” I whispered.

“And we love you, Ben,” Momtwo whispered in reply.

Ian hugged me tightly from behind, his arms folded against my sides. I became aware that his breathing was as erratic as mine. I turned and wrapped him up in my arms, conveying the love I felt for my boyfriend through the motion. He returned my embrace unselfconsciously, squeezing me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe.

“You scared me, Benji,” he whispered in my ear. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. I promise.”

“Come on inside, boys,” Liz said gently. “I think we all need a change of clothes.”

It was then I realized that I had thoroughly soaked both Kettengers with my still-sopping clothes. Now embarrassed, I followed them into the house and went straight to Ian’s room. Out of my pack I pulled a rumpled pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Ian brought a towel in with him. No sooner had the door shut than we were in each other’s arms again, sharing a kiss I needed desperately. Ian had become more of a support for me over the months than I had understood.

When the kiss broke, I rested my head on Ian’s shoulder for a moment. When I looked up at him, his eyes were as red and puffy as I felt mine were.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“For not being there for you.”

“But you were,” I insisted. “I couldn’t come here because my dad would know right where to look. Speaking of which, where is your dad?”

“He and Ray are still out looking for you,” Ian explained. “Mom probably called them, so they should be home any minute. We better get changed.”

“Okay.”

I let the silence drag on as I skinned out of my wet clothing. It was only a matter of time until one or both of my parents arrived to take me home. I briefly thought about running away again but dismissed it. I was only thirteen. I had no place to go and no one to turn to other than the Kettengers, and they would have to return me to my parents’ custody in any case.

“Um, Ben?”

“Yeah, Ian?”

“Why did you run away?”

“I thought my dad was gonna hit me or something,” I answered stoically. “He said he blames me for Mike dying. I told you that.”

“He didn’t mean it, Ben,” Ian replied.

“Yes he did, Ian,” I said with finality. “Yes, he really did.”