Life From A Distance

Ben

Chapter Sixteen

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I woke up well before Ian did. Crawling out of bed without disturbing my new boyfriend was easy since he was spooned up behind me. It was a simple matter to slip out from under his arm and slide onto the floor. Finding my clothes in the dark was another matter, but I managed to do it without making too much noise.

Once out of his room, I went to the kitchen and made some coffee. I’d just recently acquired the taste from RayRay. As if the kid weren’t hyper enough as it was, his friend had to feed him coffee on an overnight and now he drinks it every morning. He got me hooked by putting in one part sugar for one part coffee. It tasted like candy.

I sat on the couch in the family room and watched the light snow fall outside cover the deck like a gray blanket in the early morning gloom. The warmth the coffee lent my body kept me comfortable in the chilly room.

Stunned. It could not be described in any other way. Ian’s revelation had stunned my mind. The entire night while we lay together, I tried to comprehend the major shift my reality had just taken. Ian, who had been a friend for a long time, was now my boyfriend. Nothing could be as it was, yet it must remain so for our safety.

My brain was now running at full speed, contemplating the ramifications of the love we had confessed and affirmed to one another. No one else knew, not even Ed and Liz, or even Murray. How could we keep our feelings hidden from them? How could we possible refrain from expressing our love when in their presence? What would they think about a twelve and a thirteen being in love in the first place?

“You’re up early, Ben,” Ed said, startling me slightly.

“Hi, Dad. Couldn’t sleep any more. Had some thinking to do.” I took a sip of my coffee and frowned. It was cold.

“Everything is really okay then?” His voice betrayed his concern.

“Between us it is,” I replied as calmly as my somersaulting stomach would allow. “If there’s anything else, he didn’t mention it last night.” I rose and followed Dadtwo into the kitchen to warm up my coffee. I glanced at the microwave and saw it was only a quarter after six.

“What time will people start showing up?” I asked.

“About eleven or so. We’re grilling some sausages and burgers. Ian mentioned he might want to go to the park and play football, but if the snow keeps coming down, I’m not sure that will be a good idea.”

“C’mon, dad, it’ll be fun!”

Ed peered at me as he took his first sip of java. His expression was puzzled. I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking.

“You’re awful chipper this morning. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you that excited, lad.”

“I just feel good for a change.” It wasn’t a lie, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell him why.

“Well, it’s good to see,” Ed commented. “Are your mum and dad coming over?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t mention it. I’ll call and ask them later.”

“That will be fine.”

I finished off the coffee in the pot and made another while Dadtwo went out front to get the morning paper. We sat in a companionable silence reading the day’s news. I spent some time reading the comics as well. Occasionally I found myself fighting the urge to go back into the bedroom to be there when Ian woke up. I thought it would be suspicious because I had never done anything like that before even when I had awoken early as I had that morning.

Momtwo was the next person awake. She kissed my forehead as she passed and kissed her husband’s cheek. I watched them, suddenly envious of the obvious affection they felt free to display in my presence. Would Ian and I be able to do the same when we finally came out to them? Would we ever come out to them? I shook my head to dismiss the concern. It was too early to struggle with that question, both temporally and figuratively. Ian and I had admitted our love just nine hours prior to that moment. We needed to define our relationship before we announced it to the world, or at least our little part of it.

“Is something the matter, Ben?” Ed asked, apparently having seen me shake my head.

“No. Just thinking.”

“Mmm.”

I rose and got myself a bowl of cereal and ate it as I continued to ponder my situation, or rather, our situation. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even hear Ian come up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder, startling me as he did.

“Good morning,” he chirped happily, squeezing my shoulder tightly. I smiled shyly, a gesture he returned.

“Good morning, son. Did you sleep well?” I peered at Ed to see if he knew something. I decided he did not as he continued reading the paper, and sighed in relief.

“Well, we talked for quite a while last night, so I’m kind of tired, but other than that, I’m fine,” Ian said in response. He squeezed my shoulder again and then obtained a cup of coffee for himself.

“Everything is straightened out then?” His dad asked in a mild tone.

Ian paused and swallowed. “Well, not everything, but Benji and I talked out what is going on between us.”

“And that was?” Momtwo asked, her tone matching that of her husband.

Ian looked at me and I shrugged slightly. He would tell them or he wouldn’t.

“It was about Mike,” Ian said slowly. “We both miss him, and it gets in the way. We both agreed to try and not let him hold us back anymore.”

“And how do you feel about this, Ben?” She asked.

“He was right. Mikey will always be with me whether I sit in my room or play ball, so I might as well start having some fun again.” After a pause I added, “I think Mike would be disappointed if I don’t.”

“You may well be right about that, lad.” Ed glanced up at me as he spoke and then went back to his paper. “Mike was never one to mope around.”

“No, he never did. He wouldn’t let me, either.”

I changed the subject.

“Who is coming, Ian?”

“Ron, Matt and Mark, Dave and Brad,” he answered.

All five boys were, if not my friends, then at least friendly to me. We occasionally played different games together. Mike and I had a closer friendship with Matt and Mark than the others. They were twins, too, but they were fraternal twins and looked nothing alike. This would be the first time I had any close contact with them outside of school since Mike had passed away, and it made me slightly uncomfortable.

“They’ll want to play football,” Ian said with a grin.

“Ian Gilbert Kettenger, I will make that decision when they get here, and not a moment sooner. Do I make myself clear?” Ed asked sternly.

Ian, his grin still in place, said, “Sure, dad.”

I stood with a yawn. “I’m going to take a shower.”

The water felt wonderful as it cascaded over my body, its warmth waking me up for the day ahead. As I scrubbed myself the bathroom door opened to admit someone, not an unusual occurrence at the Kettenger home with two boys in residence. The shower’s sliding door slid opened and Ian’s smiling face peeked in. He studied my body without shame as I moved. His mere presence and the knowledge he was looking at me produced an erection in no time. I turned to him.

“Look what you did!”

He laughed, his eyes still on me, centered on my pubescent penis.

“I wish I could do something about that,” Ian said huskily, “but mom saw me come in. If I stay too long…”

“That’s okay,” I replied with a grin. “I’ll be out soon and meet you in your room.”

“Okay!” He exclaimed. Ian’s head disappeared behind the now-closed door. I chuckled to myself as he left.

He was waiting for me, sitting in his bed reading. I closed the door behind me and dropped my towel. Ian watched me closely as I crawled over the bed toward him and then slid into the bed beside him. My hand found his erection quickly.

“We can’t really do anything, Ben,” Ian said gently, his hand resting on my arm, stopping my motion. “Not with Mom and Dad awake.”

“Why not? We’ve jerked off before with them awake. They always knock,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, they do, but Rayray doesn’t.”

As if Ian’s statement was a prophecy, Murray walked into Ian’s room excitedly.

“Ian, can I play football with you guys later? Please?” He was begging and Ian hadn’t even told him to buzz off yet.

“Sure, Ray. I said you could yesterday.”

“Woo hoo!” The kid did a little dance and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

“Ray!” Ian called. “Close the door please?”

“Sure, bro. Sorry!” Murray did as he was asked.

“See what I mean,” Ian griped.

“He’s gone now.”

“I know. Can you wait until tonight?”

Pouting in an exaggerated fashion, I said, “I guess.”

“You could always go back into the bathroom and do it yourself,” Ian reminded me.

“No, I’ll wait. I want to save it up for you.”

The look he gave me made my heart melt.